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Original Article in Chabad.org:

Sometimes what happens in Vegas shouldn’t just stay in Vegas. Levi Harlig’s extraordinary bar mitzvah is one of them.

Levi gave a flawless reading of Parshat Naso, the longest Torah portion of the year, and delivered a Chassidic discourse in Yiddish and Hebrew last Shabbat morning at Chabad of Green Valley/Henderson in Las Vegas. The following evening, the 13-year-old sang and drummed for three hours with entertainer Avraham Fried at a community-wide celebration at the Four Seasons Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip.

That would be an exciting experience for any bar mitzvah boy. But for members of the community who have known Levi since birth, the accomplishment was nearly miraculous.

When Levi was 15 months old, his mother, Chaya Harlig, co-director with her husband, Rabbi Mendy Harlig, of Chabad of Green Valley/Henderson, realized that something was not quite right about their son. “He wasn’t making eye contact or following directions. We got him into all kinds of therapies right away—occupational therapy, speech therapy and more.” Three months later, the Harligs learned that Levi had autism. He has difficulties with personal space and reading social cues, and he often focuses on topics of interest to him but not necessarily to other people.

“My husband took it a lot harder than I did,” said Chaya. “I think women have more bitachon [faith]. We set out to make Levi the best Levi he can be!”

In response to her husband’s concerns about where Levi would go to school, whether he would have a bar mitzvah and other issues related to Levi’s future, Chaya reassured him. “He will have a bar mitzvah, he will get married, and he will use his talents. He is really special!”

Harlig quickly realized that his wife was right. Levi has extraordinary talents, including perfect pitch and what his parents refer to as “audiographic memory.” Levi is able to remember essentially anything he hears, including songs, speeches, conversations he has heard in synagogue or around the Shabbat table.

The bar mitzvah boy shares Torah learning at the celebration. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

The bar mitzvah boy shares Torah learning at the celebration. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

Rabbi Harlig began including Levi in the life of the synagogue from an early age. “Each Yom Kippur, I would give my talk and then find a song in English connected to the sermon for Levi to sing. There was not a dry eye in the shul!” Levi regularly leads the congregation in prayer, and he greets congregants by name, upon arrival—often in a loud voice from up on the bimah!

Levi’s important role in the synagogue has allowed members of the community to become comfortable with a person with disabilities. “Levi is bringing people into the Henderson Chabad. He has a warm smile and welcomes everyone!” reports his father.

Wayne Krygier, a member of the Las Vegas Chabad community since relocating from Canada in 1989, concurs. “Levi is the heart and soul of the synagogue. The shul is his life—he feels so at home here!” Krygier jokes that Levi’s greeting everyone in a loud voice as they enter serves as an incentive to arrive on time.

Dr. George Harouni, a local dentist and regular Chabad of Henderson attendee, observes, “People are now accustomed to seeing someone like Levi. He has been part of the community since birth; no one thinks of him as being different.”

When Levi’s bar mitzvah approached, his grandfather, Rabbi Kalman Shor, who also serves as a rabbi for the Chabad of Henderson community, taught him Torah cantillation and sat with him for regular practice sessions. He notes that Levi’s musical talents made his job “much, much easier—once he learns it, he remembers it.” The congregation was clearly moved at the bar mitzvah. “They thought it was beautiful and emotional. And they were impressed that he made no mistakes.”

Jeff Berkow, a retired South African-born businessman and longtime active volunteer in Chabad of Henderson reports: “Levi was flawless! He sang the trope [cantillation] like a chazzan with 30 years of experience. People were amazed!”

Singing with Avraham Fried. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

Singing with Avraham Fried. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

High Praise From a Noted Singer

Levi’s bar mitzvah celebration continued with an Avraham Fried concert, attended by 300 people, a natural choice given Fried’s musical talents and personal qualities. Harlig explains, “He is a beautiful singer, a caring person, and he always showed love for Levi. I figured people would see them sing together, love it and get inspired. They were on a high.”

Fried reflects on the special Shabbat and evening noting, “I knew this bar mitzvah would be very special and memorable but, boy, this was out of the park! Levi loves music. He sings beautifully, and has a great ear and rhythm. He knows all my songs exactly as they appear on the CD. Every musical line and harmony, every place where the song modulates, and the intros and endings, not to mention every special inflection that I sing! We sang so many songs together—Hebrew and English. Levi was conducting the orchestra and was totally in charge. I am lucky to have met Levi years ago. I’m lucky he invited me to his special celebration. I’m very happy he has such good taste in music!”

The community’s embrace of Levi and inclusion of people with disabilities extends beyond one special Shabbat. The Harligs and the community dream of making Chabad of Green Valley/Henderson the “central address” in Las Vegas for including people with disabilities. “Going forward, we hope to continue showing the importance of inclusion, which Chabad has been doing for many years—unconditional love for all humans,” says Harlig.

Father and grandfather listen to the bar mitzvah boy. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

Father and grandfather listen to the bar mitzvah boy. (Photo: Norina Kaye)

Harouni is excited about Chabad’s potential to become even more welcoming to people with disabilities. “Inclusion will be a great addition to our shul. We could be a real center to offer people with disabilities a sense of belonging and an opportunity to be a part of the community.”

Berkow, who assists Harlig in running Chabad, proudly notes, “I want our Chabad to be theshul of inclusion, the place that caters to people with special needs and where inclusion is the centerpiece.” He also hopes Chabad of Green Valley/Henderson will serve as a satellite to the already successful Friendship Circle 15 miles to the north.

Chaya Harlig notes that Chabad recently purchased land, and future plans include Levi’s Place, where people can come for homework help, tutoring, programming and friendship. “We will have a community center serving many families. We will be inclusive and work together with all children on all levels.” She continues to hear of the impact that Levi has had on the Las Vegas Jewish community. “Because of him, people are becoming more religious, closer to the synagogue and Hashem.” She notes that she knows other shluchim families with children with disabilities, and that Chabad offers resources and support.

(Photo: Norina Kaye)

(Photo: Norina Kaye)

Inclusion Initiative a Welcome Partner

Rabbi Harlig has found a natural partner in his mission towards greater inclusion the Ruderman Chabad Inclusion Initiative (RCII), directed by Dr. Sarah Kranz-Ciment. RCII is dedicated to building on the philosophy and mission of Chabad-Lubavitch by providing Chabad communities around the globe the education and resources they need to advance inclusion of people with disabilities. RCII engages Chabad’s network of resources to create a culture of inclusion so that all Jews feel welcomed, supported and valued throughout their entire lifecycle.

RCII is producing a song, a music video and an inclusive mural that shows that everyone belongs. It has also developed an an online bar and bat mitzvah guide, titled “Practical Ideas for Inclusive Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.”

Kranz-Ciment is proud of the work of the Harligs, their community and of Levi’s bar mitzvah, which she notes was “an opportunity to publicly show and make a statement about his many talents.” She continues, “Every Jewish soul is meaningful, and is obligated to be Jewish in the best way he or she can. The Rebbe said, ‘Your birthday is the day Hashem decided the world can’t exist without you. Inclusion is a chance to bring this to the forefront and show that what each person can do is valuable.’ All of us have a place in Judaism.”

(Photo: Norina Kaye)

(Photo: Norina Kaye)
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The following article is from the Fall 2008 edition of Mitzvah Magazine, pp.26-28. Howard was honoured to have been Jake’s bar mitzvah tutor.

While your child is busy learning his or her torah portion, Haftorah, and a long list of prayers in preparation for a bar or bat mitzvah, you’re probably busy in your own right. After all, a simcha like this needs a celebration, and who better to plan it all than mom or dad?

You may be overwhelmed trying to choose a venue, menu, outfits, invitations, and a place for Uncle Harry to lay his head when he comes to town for the big day. You’ve probably spent a lot of time on the phone, online, and talking to other parents to get their advice and recommendations. To help you on your journey, we’ve interviewed two families who’ve recently planned their children’s parties so you can see how they did it. Hopefully, it will give you great ideas or inspiration for your own. Mazel Tov.

For her second son’s bar mitzvah, Lauren Beck decided to think outside the box. “Different kid, different party,” she says. Instead of the more traditional services in a synagogue and a party at a country club, as she had for her older son, Justin, she began researching outdoor event areas, fairgrounds, and other party spaces for her active younger son, Jake. Before long she stumbled upon Club Getaway, an adult/family camp on 300 acres in Kent, Conn., that has long hosted weddings but was just getting into the bar/bat mitzvah market. It was perfect for a weekend affair that included everything you’d find at a summer camp, including sleeping in bunks, zip lines, family-style meals, bonfires, boat rides, and ball games. All that was missing was the bug juice!

What were you looking for? My children are very different, and I felt strongly about doing something that really represented who Jake is. He’s extremely active; he runs track and plays soccer. As soon as he saw it, (Club Getaway) Jake was sold.

Why did you choose to do a whole weekend away? We have family from all over the country and Israel, and it’s hard to get together. I thought, why not gather everyone for an extended time and really celebrate for a whole weekend instead of just one day? It was a great idea and ended up costing a fraction of what it would have in the city.

How far in advance did you start planning? We saw Club Getaway about a year before Jake’s bar mitzvah. Once we booked the place I called Total Entertainment because I wanted to get the DJ, Ben. We used Jamal for Justin’s party, but different kid, different DJ.

How many people did you have? We had 170 people; we were shocked at the response, but people loved the idea of it, and everyone we invited wanted to come.

Tell us about the weekend. Friday was just fir family to arrive and hang out. We had a family-style dinner with everything from grilled fist to barbeque steak and chicken. Then, we had Texas hold’em tables and karaoke. Later, we had a bonfire and sing-along, and people stayed up until 3 in the morning. I made up song books to hand out with your favourite songs, and Jake played the drums and Justin played guitar. The rest of our guests arrived Saturday and stayed through Sunday.

“Make your child’s Bar Mitzvah all about him, and don’t worry about doing what everyone else has done.”

How was the food? Outstanding; not just the usual camp food of bug juice and hotdogs! For breakfast they had a huge spread with an omelet station, fruit, bagels, hot cereals, pastries… you name it. Lunch was a cookout with salads and the grill going, plus make-your-own sandwiches. For Saturday night dinner we had lots of appetizers including baby lamb chops, seared tuna, and Middle Eastern salads. My husband even brought up pastrami from Katz’s Delicatessen in New York for a carving station. Dinner was seared salmon in apple cider glaze or beef tenderloin, plus lots of other choices. Dessert was chocolate mousse in shot glasses, fresh strawberries, cake, and more.

What activities were offered during the weekend? We started serving early coffee and Danish for those who wanted to join a morning hike or run. During the day we had water skiing, swimming, trapeze, zip lines, mountain biking, softball games, an Olympics with an egg toss and tug-of-war,ping pong, wine tasting, and dance and cooking classes. There were activities all day long. Most were outdoors, but we had indoor options in case of rain.

Tell us about the bar mitzvah service? The plan was for Jake to lead a havdalah service at 6pm Saturday on a beautiful grassy knoll overlooking the lake and the mountains. But a minute and a half before he began, the skies opened up and everyone ran for the boathouse that we had set up just in case. It rained torrentially during the service, but it stopped five minutes before it was finished. We had cocktails in the boathouse and then went up to a tent for the party.

Did you need to bring your own rabbi? Yes. We used Howard Blas, a religious teacher who had been tutoring Jake for the past two years. He even helped us rent the Torah from the Lower East Side, and we created the siddurim with him, complete with all the prayers and songs we wanted for the service.

What did you do for entertainment? We had a band and four motivational dancers from Total Entertainment. The dancers spent the whole day, playing games with the kids and getting to know them, so by the evening they were really ready to dance. We also hired Paul E Doggs to breakdance. He was someone Jake had followed around at five bar mitzvahs in a row and always said he wanted Paul at his own bar mitzvah. A year and a half ago he announced that he wanted to learn to breakdance, so we hired Paul to come every Friday afternoon for a year and teach him. Jake did a performance at the party and it was amazing!

What was so unique about doing a party this way? Spending the whole weekend having fun together creates a very different atmosphere than just a four-hour party. Family and friends really bonded, and there was an incredible feeling of warmth and genuine joy. My 83-year-old father-in-law did the tug-of-war. Even though he fell face first into a muddy puddle,he still had fun. People of all ages and physical abilities were able to take part in everything. It was a three-day-long celebration.

How much was Jake involved in the planning? Jake was very involved with everything. He planned the kids’ menus and the “Camp Crazy Olympics,” as he called it. He also helped design his whole service and chose exactly which prayers he wanted to do, and he did the whole candle-lighting.

Did you do a lot of the work yourself? Most of it. I designed the invitations with Ram at Blacker & Kooby; I ordered the yarmulkes online from www.skullcaps.com. We took Jake to the Lower East Side to get a tallis and rent the Torah. I worked with Howard to create the siddur and ordered them online at www.singersiddur.com. I ordered a huge banner online that said “Camp Jake” to hang over the Club Getaway sign at the entrance. I did
references, but this time I didn’t go with recommendations or use someone everyone else was using.

But you brought in an NY DJ? My personal philosophy is that the music is the most important part of any party. There, I was going to spend money on a known quantity. The food can stink and you’ll forget about it the next day, but you want people up and dancing the whole night. I didn’t go out of the box for that.

Even though the whole weekend was a lot of fun, you were insistent on it all being about the bar mitzvah. Because Howard had been coming to our house every Sunday for the past two years, we spent a lot of time discussing what it means to be a bar mitzvah and on introspection and spirituality. And there was a lot of spirituality about the weekend, from the Friday night candles to the siddurim we created.

How did you stay organized? I had a folder for each portion of the event, and I made a computer spreadsheet to keep track of every check I wrote and bill I paid. I’m a very organized, anal person, and I plan events for a non-profit organization for a living.

What’s one tip you can pass on to other parents? Make your child’s bar mitzvah all about him, and don’t worry about doing what everyone else has done. Once you take a deep breath and leap, you’ll feel a lot better. Every decision I made I thought about Jake; what makes him happy and comfortable. There was no worrying about who we had to invite. This wasn’t about our social life. This was about who loves Jake and is in his life. You can’t go wrong if you do it that way. Also, I learned not to sweat the small stuff. A dozen things didn’t happen the way I wanted, but nobody really noticed. Everyone was just having a great time.

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“During the summer, the entire Tikvah Program at Camp Ramah in New England learned about Israel in our Jewish Studies class, we wrote and performed a play about “The Case of the Missing Water,” and we enjoyed getting to know 40 plus members of the mishlochot (Israeli delegation). We were also sad to learn of deaths of Israeli soldiers during the War in Lebanon. We were a little worried that the trip wouldnt take place, but we had faith. Some parents even handed me deposit checks DURING the war! The trip was a dream come true. This was my third Tikvah Ramah Israel Trip, and the 10th trip to Israel in the history of the Tikvah Program. We enjoyed seeing places of historical significance, davening in so many different placesthe Kotel, outside of our guest houses in the Negev and Galil, and at Reform and Orthodox synagogues, purchasing souvenirs for ourselves and friends, and supporting the Israeli economy. But, most of all, we enjoyed seeing our many Israeli friends. Our group was like a magnet, and the Israelis were like iron filingsdrawn to us everywhere we went. I am pleased that our campers and program alumni (age range: 17-31) felt comfortable in Israel and will return to their homes, schools and communities as great shlichim and hasbara members for Israel.

Who

Members of the Tikvah Program of Camp Ramah in New England

When

Dec. 20, 2006 – January 3, 2007

Highlights

  • Working in the toy factory, with therapeutic dogs and in the gardens at Kishorit Village (near Karmiel) for adults with special needs.
  • Meals in homes of Ramah Israeli Staff Members: Lunch in Haifa with Tomer Nachshon and dinners in the Beit Shemesh home of the Benstein family and in the Moshav Emunim home of the Tzivoni Family.
  • Making spice sachets, writing with a reed and special ink, meeting a sofer, and making zatar spice at Neot Kedumim.
  • Seeing the Chagall Windows, then giving presents to Israeli Jewish and Arab children in the Pediatrics Unit at Hadassah Ein Kerem Hospital
  • Seeing every possible weather pattern from sun in the Galilee, to rain and fog in the Golan Heights, to rain while on Masada and swimming in the Dead Sea.
  • Buying fruit, nuts and rugelach in the bustling Machane Yehudah market on a Friday afternoon (for a Camp Ramah oneg Shabbat)
  • Seeing ibex, deer, and hyrax at Ein Gedi, a fox in the Negev on the way to camel riding at Beertoyim, and two wolves in the Negev near Kibbutz Mashabe Sadeh.
  • Petting and feeding llamas and alpacas at Mitzpeh Ramon.
  • Sitting in actual Israeli planes at the Israel Air Force Museum in Beersheva.

Participants

Jason Belkin
Howard Blas (Group Leader)
Elisheva and Hannah Blas
Adam Brand
David Dalnekoff
Max Davidson (Chaperone)
Benji Garbowit
Jeremy Jacobson
Eric Levine
Gideon Pianko
Aaron Rudolph
Emily Sowalsky (Chaperone)
Marie Strazulla
Ortal Winterstein
Jacob Yellin

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