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Original Article Published On The Chabad.ORG

There are some topics people are happy to discuss with their friends and fellow congregants at kiddush after Shabbat services (and unfortunately, at times, even during services). Popular topics include local sports teams, the weather, the stock market, recent developments at local schools and politics. People might share reactions to the rabbi’s sermon, or express concern about a member of the community mentioned during the communal Mi Sheberach, the prayer for healing.

One topic that tends to be off limits is mental illness. We don’t generally discuss mental illness openly, and we often choose not to recite the Mi Sheberach for people dealing with issues of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, schizophrenia and other mental health issues. Some Jewish communities, mental health professionals and clergy members are working hard to change that. Mental illness and substance abuse do exist in all parts of the Jewish community.

In a poignant editorial in the New York Jewish Week, “Telling the Truth about Mental Illness,” Ruth Roth tells the story about dealing with her son’s first suicide attempt.1

He made it through that episode alive and with minimal impairment to his body. Once out of the hospital he appeared to be the same Jonathan he always was: kind, loving, caring, bright, engaging, witty. He begged us not to tell anyone what happened—not that he needed to. Of course we would keep this a secret, for so many reasons. We didn’t want to have our son labeled “crazy”; we didn’t want him to endure any comments or knowing glances from well-meaning people. We were private people who never revealed our innermost issues to anyone outside our family. And we certainly didn’t want our son to feel exposed.

Without realizing it, by keeping this secret, we validated Jonathan’s feeling of shame. Not only would he have to battle his illness, he would bear the burden of shame about it as well. From this point on, our family would have to present an outside face to the world that did not represent our inner reality. We didn’t comprehend the gargantuan weight we would assume with this decision.

Would we have acted the same way had Jonathan been diagnosed with cancer, gastrointestinal illness, severe cardiac illness, or diabetes? Absolutely not—we would never have hidden any of those illnesses. Ask me now and I will tell you that I wish I had shouted it from the rooftop, done anything, taken out an ad in The New York Times: “My son has a devastating mental illness. Can someone, anyone, offer me some advice to save his life?”

Sadly, five months later, Jonathan committed suicide.

Roth continues, “Having lived with the pain of isolation for the previous five months, we decided to be open about Jonathan’s taking his own life. This way, our friends could comfort us appropriately. More important, we would no longer have to bear the burden of living with a lie. It was the right decision for us.”

Dr. Esther Altmann, a New York-based clinical psychologist, says: “Mental illness is known as machalat hanefesh, illness of the soul. It doesn’t reflect our understanding of the brain, but it captures the essence of what it means to struggle with mental illness for the person or the family. It reminds us that psychological suffering happens to each of us at some junctures—just as we experience machalat haguf—illness of the body.”

Altmann shared the following data on mental illness in any given year in the United States:

  • Approximately one in five adults—20 percent—experiences some form of mental illness.
  • Approximately 4 percent experience a serious mental illness that substantially interferes with or limits their functioning in one or more major life activities.
  • 1 percent of adults live with schizophrenia.
  • 2.6 percent of adults live with bipolar disorder.
  • 7 percent of adults have had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.
  • 6 percent of the adult population reported heavy drinking.
  • Suicide is now the leading cause of death for young people ages 15–24.

The numbers and stories are alarming, in the general population and in the Jewish community. Articles in the Jewish press, presentations and conversations at Jewish conferences, programs at synagogues and at communal gatherings are starting to raise awareness and offer hope.

In August 2013, Times of Israel blogger Diane Weber Bederman wrote openly about her mental illness in a revealing piece, “Mental Illness and the Jews”:2

I write about mental illness because I have one. I am a third generation mental-health survivor. I am named for my paternal grandmother, Devorah, and she had depression, as did my father. I was diagnosed in my late 40s with chronic recurrent depression. That means that there are times when everything is “tickety-boo” and others that are very dark. I was diagnosed when I was suicidal.

Stephen Fried, author (with Patrick Kennedy) of the New York Times bestseller, A Common Struggle: A Personal Journey Through the Past and Future of Mental Illness and Addiction, suggests ways to make the issue more central in the Jewish world. Fried wrote a provocative article called, “Jews Must Take Mental Illness Out of the Shadows.” In it, he asks,

What messages do we send to our congregations every day about mental illness and addiction? Do we, for example, believe in prayers for healing diseases of the brain the same way we do for all other diseases? Do we believe in mourning deaths from the tragic outcomes of these illnesses—suicides, overdoses—the same way we do for all other diseases? Do we regularly include these diseases in the “health” and “wellness” that we pray for and wish for others? Do our rabbis and community members offer hospital or home medical visits for these illnesses?

Regarding the Mi Sheberach prayer, Fried suggests, “Imagine the incredible power of hearing a congregation ask, as prayers do, for compassion, for restoration, for strength, for healing of the soul and healing of the body—and knowing that they are talking about you and your illness, too.”

Synagogues can bring these topics into the open by creating opportunities for awareness, discussion and networking. Mental health support networks are an essential way to keep families feeling less isolated and ostracized. Possible supports might include discussions and committees to organize help for those with postpartum depression and anxiety, suicide prevention training, mental health first aid treatment, a briut hanefesh (spiritual health) support group, mental health awareness Shabbatons, sessions for teens on body image and eating disorders, and more.

Dr. Andres Martin, Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University, sees an important role for rabbis and Jewish communal professionals. He stresses that forging alliances with culturally competent and informed providers can be a huge help not only for those in need of support, but also for rabbis and leaders. Martin further suggests, “It behooves rabbis and other community leaders, who are held in such esteem and respect, to become familiar with common mental health issues, challenges and illnesses. Depression, anxiety and substance abuse are very common, and early identification and treatment can be key to long-term recovery.”

There are several initiatives and training programs geared specifically to clergy and those working with teenagers. Most curricula combine clinical knowledge and Jewish texts to help identify and build resources to support the psychological issues that leaders are likely to encounter in communal settings.

Additionally, there are programs working with youth groups to address the topic of mental health in children and teenagers, raising awareness around issues of mental health and working to end the stigma of mental illness.

While the issue of mental health and mental illness is still in the background in much of the Jewish community, there are reasons for hope as the topic comes to the forefront in conferences, community forums and rabbinic training programs. As the Jewish community continues to tackle this complex issue, lives will be enhanced and hopefully even saved.

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On Nov. 11 and 12, 340 companies filled 400 booths in the 80,000-square-foot exhibition hall in the Meadowlands Exposition Center in Secaucus, N.J. – all part of the 26th annual Kosherfest, the trade show of the kosher food industry.

Kosher is big business. The number of Americans who are believed to keep kosher year-round is 1.3 million, and the number of goods produced in the U.S. with a kosher symbol exceeds $300 billion in sales. More than 200,000 items on U.S. supermarket shelves are under kosher certification – with approximately 2,500 items newly certified in 2013.

As attendees approached the exhibition hall, they were greeted by a truck offering free samples of Tofutti “Cuties” – before even entering the hall! I always find it helpful to sit for a few moments with a map and schedule or even come up with a game plan. I usually set out down the aisles – in order – from booths 100 to 753. Time permitting, I might catch one of the many mincha minyans held throughout the day, or watch some of the Kosherfest 7th Annual Culinary Competition, featuring three chefs and hosted by Chef Paula Shoyer. But visiting the booths – for info and samples – is key!

It is always comforting to see old familiar ‘faces’ – Guss’ Pickles, Gold’s, Empire Kosher Poultry, and the KOF-K and Star-K kosher supervision agencies. Many of these old reliable companies are still producing new products. Manischewitz, for example, debuted its Gluten Free Brownie Mix, Gluten Free Matzo Ball Mix and gave away cans of its Kosherfest 2014 “Best New Kosher for Passover” Carrot Cake Macaroons. They also invited visitors to enter their Chanukah House Kit contest. Empire was proudly showing off their Gourmet Spicy Apple Chicken Sausage, a blend of sweet and spicy with no nitrates or fillers.

Along with the food, there was also some fun. Entertaining the crowd were two gregarious Japanese men, who spent two days making sushi at their booth to promote extra spicy Srirachi sauces: chili and spicy mayo.

Many companies are offering healthier products, often geared to such specialty markets as gluten free. ProTings chips, in such tasty flavors as key lime, sea salt and tangy southern barbeque, have 15 grams of protein in a four-ounce bag and they are vegan and gluten free. Matt’s Munchies, the premium fruit snack, is gluten free and vegan, and Mauzone Mania offer low in carbs, high in fiber treats like biscotti, breadsticks and flatters. Azuma Gourmet has been producing seaweed salad for fifteen years; for the past four years, their sesame seaweed hummus, hijiki quinoa salad and seaweed salads have been available in Costco. Deebee’s won the award for best overall new product/best new frozen dessert. Their “teapops” are organic, gluten free, pareve and only 25 to 50 calories, and come in such flavors as minty mint, tropical mango and toasted coconut.

Despite the surge in healthy, more traditional meat products still abound. Attendees couldn’t get enough of such products as Jack’s Gourmet Beef merguez; U.S. Bison was promoting kosher bison meat – grass fed, antibiotic free, organic certification pending.

Many products come with interesting back stories: On the market only five months, NoMoo Cookies took home the 2014 Kosherfest New Product Competition (Best New Breads and Baked Goods) for its ginger cookie. The company was launched by an architect who loved to bake. His cookies, in eight flavors, are pareve. Allie’s GF Cookies was founded in 2014 by Allison Luckman, who was motivated to create her gluten free baked goods when her son, who suffers from an egg allergy, said, “I don’t like the sweets out there – can you make it taste better?” Allie started baking him special treats. She now bakes gluten free, nut free, coconut free, kosher baked goods, including cakes, rugelach, brownies, cupcakes, mousse and more.

I was delighted to discover one company at Kosherfest from our own Nutmeg State. Raul and Marissa Felix started the Connecticut Coconut Company in 2005. Their plant is in Shelton and their warehouse is in Waterbury. Originally from the Philippines, the Felixes are eager to explain why the coconut tree is considered “the tree of life.” “You can build your house from the wood of the tree, you can drink coconut milk, and you can get oil, flour and sugar! You can live from the coconut tree and have income from it!” Their organic coconut sugar is two years old and is under Star-K kosher supervision. “The response has been very positive. Everybody loves sugar and ours is raw and unrefined,” notes Marissa Felix.

(Source: http://www.jewishledger.com)

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Film screened at UK House of Commons show how a Jewish and a black player broke through the color barrier and anti-Semitism- on the tennis court

Although Angela Buxton applied for membership in the All England Lawn Tennis Club in August 1958, she is still awaiting a reply. Given her tennis bonafides, this may surprise: She reached the singles quarterfinals of the French Open in 1954 and the finals of Wimbledon in 1956. And then, of course, there are those “minor” doubles championships at the French Open and Wimbledon in 1956.

“I think the reason is quite clear,” Buxton says during a conversation in the media dining room of the US Open in New York City. The 80-year-old is reporting for both Florida Tennis magazine, and her native United Kingdom-based tennis publication.

“I can only assume it is because I am a Jew,” she says in her typical feisty style.

Perhaps, but it may also have to do with her doubles partner, African American Althea Gibson at Wimbledon in 1956.

Buxton’s unique life journey began in Liverpool, England in 1934, and has included stops in South Africa, the US, India, and Israel, making her uniquely qualified to break the color barrier in the tennis world.

Buxton’s father, Harry, owned a chain of movie theaters in England. When World War II approached, Harry stayed in England to run the business, but sent his wife, Violet, and two children to South Africa. Buxton fondly recalls her seven years spent in various cities including Johannesburg and Cape Town. She attended a convent school where the nuns and other students — some of whom were Jewish — were very kind.

At eight years old, Buxton began playing in her compulsory daily tennis daily class where she showed great promise.

While the Buxtons were relatively comfortable in South Africa, it was here that Buxton experienced racism for the first time.

“We hadn’t experienced it in England. My mom was no-nonsense when we came across it.” Buxton describes her friendship with a black girl her age, the daughter of servants next door with whom she “played hopscotch and similar games.” Friends and neighbors disapproved of the friendship, noting, “We don’t mix with blacks.”

In a similar incident, the Buxton family was approached by a black young woman looking for some cleaning work. Several days later, she appeared with her six-month-old daughter, desperately seeking a place to stay.

‘You Jews are all the same. You think you own the world!’

“We offered her a job and a place to sleep — on the stoop of our flat” until the landlord threatened to evict them. Despite her mother’s attitude of acceptance, she was also pragmatic and said, “We are guests of the country. We need to keep our heads down and noses clean.”

“This incident stayed in my mind until I met Althea,” says Buxton.

Buxton’s first encounter with anti-Semitism also occurred in South Africa. Her mother Violet was in the common bathroom shared by several flats arranging her hair. When a man asked if she is finished yet, he then remarked, “You Jews are all the same. You think you own the world!” Violet took her comb and hit him. “Twice,” recalls Buxton.

Buxton reflects upon the reason for the man’s comment, and suggests, “There was no good reason — the war was on and Jews were being sent to the slaughter.”

Home again, home again

When the family returned to England in 1946, this time settling in North Wales, Buxton was a true tennis standout.

“I was head and shoulders above the rest. During the war, they had no rackets, no balls and no nets in England. I was beating girls of 18!” Her success in tennis caught the attention of various coaches including George Mulligan, from Liverpool who said of Buxton, “This is a potential Wimbledon champion!”

In 1952, Buxton played in her first Wimbledon in what is known as a “lucky loser” event. She lost in the first round and was very aware aspects of her game were still in need of improvement. Buxton easily convinced her father to finance an extended trip to California. “My father said, ‘Go, take your mother, visit the studios. Tell them you are Harry Buxton’s daughter.’ I even had my picture taken with Doris Day!”

Buxton’s first encounter with anti-Semitism in the tennis world occurred at the Los Angeles Tennis Club in 1952. The Buxtons had a six month lease on an apartment overlooking the courts.

“After two weeks of play there, and after my application for membership was accepted, they gave the money back!” They no longer welcomed Buxton as a member. Buxton matter of factly recalls, “I found out later it was because I was Jewish.”

Buxton turned this rejection into an opportunity; she began playing on the La Cienega public courts. “They were very good courts, and very good people, including Pancho Segura and Pancho Gonzales. They were Mexicans and they couldn’t play at the LA Tennis club either.”

Buxton returned to England in 1953, ready to compete. But after a 6-0, 6-0 loss to reigning Wimbledon champion, Doris Hart at the Bournesmouth Hardcourt Championships, Buxton considered quitting and decided the Maccabiah Games in Israel in October 1953 would be her farewell tennis event.

She traveled with 100 Jewish fellow athletes from England on a ship called “Artza.”

“The journey was awful, but it was fun!” Buxton won two gold medals and returned to England, ready to continue her tennis journey.

Jimmy Jones, a tennis pro and sportswriter coached Buxton, teaching her tactical strategies. She reached the quarterfinals of Wimbledon in 1955.

“Jones always told me, ‘I can help you in the formative years, but you will have obstacles along the way because you are Jewish.’ He wasn’t even Jewish! He was the most influential man in my life,” recalls Buxton fondly.

Enter Althea Gibson

In 1955, Buxton was selected by the government of England to represent her country in a tennis exhibition in India. African American player Althea Gibson was selected by the US State Department to participate in the same United States Lawn Tennis Association-sponsored event. The two women met in India.

The 29-year-old Gibson was born in South Carolina to sharecropper parents and moved to Harlem as a young child. Gibson struggled academically and often skipped school. She spent much of her time playing table tennis and eventually tennis. However, in the 1940s and 50s, most tennis tournaments were closed to African Americans.

In 1951, she became the first African American to play Wimbledon. Later, she would become also the first African American woman to play professional golf.

Becoming a US sports envoy gave Gibson a new entree into previously closed spheres.

“President Eisenhower changed her life. Althea had already hung up her racket and applied to join the army. He knew that sport was a valuable tool to enhance players’ quality of life,” says Buxton of Gibson’s opportunity to travel to India, Pakistan and Burma.

The matchmaker for the successful Gibson-Buxton partnership was Coach Jones. At various tennis events in 1956, he had observed that Gibson was always on her own and not spoken to by other players. He urged Buxton to reach out to Gibson to be her doubles partner at the French Championships and Wimbledon.

After the pair won Wimbledon, a British newspaper headlined a report, ‘Minorities Win’

Buxton, keenly aware of her own outsider status, approached Gibson, who quickly agreed to the partnership. After the pair won Wimbledon, a British newspaper headlined a report, “Minorities Win.”

Sadly, their tennis partnership came to an abrupt end when Buxton injured her wrist at an August 1956 tennis tournament in New Jersey. While she would persevere and go on to win the Maccabiah title in 1957, soon after she retired from tennis.

Buxton’s colorful post tennis-playing life has included countless adventures in and out of the tennis world, including teaching and coaching tennis, starting the Buxton Tennis Center in north London, sports writing and volunteering on a kibbutz during the Six Day War.

Asked why she journeyed to Israel during this difficult period, she smiles, “I was married at the time to Donald Silk, the president of the Zionist organization of Great Britain and Ireland.”

So Buxton took her three children, 6, 4 and 18 months old, to volunteer on Kibbutz Amiad, “helping in the dining room, the orchards and the laundry.” Buxton recalls, “Damascus overlooked the kibbutz.” Buxton has returned to Israel over the years and is one of the six founders of the Israel Tennis Centers.

Althea Gibson, however, though an American hero who was given a ticker-tape parade after her first Wimbledon win, fell on hard times and was unable to make ends meet. Buxton reached out to many friends and colleagues in the tennis world to raise significant funds intended to help her former partner, whom Buxton describes as poor, ill and considering suicide. Gibson died in 2003.

Buxton’s legacy

Buxton was inducted to the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame in 1981.

Sandra Harwitt, a sportswriter who has covered more than 70 Grand Slam tennis events, includes a chapter about Buxton in her recently published book, “The Greatest Jewish Tennis Players of All Time.”

“Angela lived in a time when women didn’t have a significant voice, yet Angela never held back from offering thoughts and opinions on everything — and pushing for her rights. To this day, she still speaks her minds and has opinions,” says Harwitt.

The active, always on the move Buxton splits her time between England and Florida and proudly reports, “I will be a great grandmother soon!”

Buxton has not yet received membership to the All-England Lawn Tennis Club. But the daughter of a successful British Jewish movie house owner is now herself the subject of a film, “Althea & Angela: A Perfect Match” about tennis and ethnicity, screened before the House of Commons on September 9.

“To be honest, I am a bit in the dark about why they are showing it — and I am going to speak off the cuff,” says Buxton.

 (Source: http://www.timesofisrael.com)

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As the Ledger went to press, the U.S. Open tennis tournament was in full swing at the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center in Flushing Meadows, N.Y.  This year’s Open, which kicked off on August 25 and comes to a close on Sept. 8, features a number of Jewish players from around the world – as well as kosher food and a few “frum” (Orthodox) ball boys and girls.

According to kippah-wearing ball boys Eric Wietschner and Moshe Brum, “There are approximately 10 frum ball boys. The U.S. Open is very accommodating, both in terms of scheduling and about wearing kippot on the job.”  Which left one fan, Jeremy Posner of Manhattan, to playfully wonder, “Why aren’t they issued Ralph Lauren kippot?” The Ralph Lauren Polo logo is prominently displayed on shirts and shoes of all ball boys and girls.

This year’s singles and doubles men’s draw featured 18-year-old Noah Rubin of Merrick, Long Island in N.Y.  Rubin won the Wimbledon juniors tournament in July. He received a wild card to play in the U.S. Open main draw after winning the Boys Junior National Tennis Championship in Kalamazoo, Mich.

Despite losing his singles match to 66th ranked Frederico Delbonis of Argentina (6-4, 6-3, 6-0), and his doubles match, with partner Stephan Kozlov, to Jared Donaldson and Michael Russell (6-2, 6-7, 6-4), the good-natured Rubin remained proud and confident. In a post-match press conference, Rubin said, “I learned that I can definitely compete with these guys at the best level. I’m just getting used to the atmosphere, getting used to being out there with the top players in the world.”

Rubin, who attended religious school and celebrated his bar mitzvah at the Merrick Jewish Center, collected tennis rackets to donate to the Israel Tennis Center for his “mitzvah project.” “I want people to know I’m Jewish and I like to represent the Jewish people,” he told the Ledger. Though he has not yet been to Israel, “I will be going!” he says, noting that his sister, Jessie, who served as vice president of Hillel and captain of the tennis team during her student years at Binghamton University, has been to Israel twice – once on a Birthright trip, and once on a JNF service trip. Though he’s missed the first week of classes, Rubin will now head for Winston-Salem, N.C. to begin his freshman year at Wake Forest University.

Four days before the start of play, Rubin had the opportunity to go head to head with the world’s number one player, Novak Djokovic, at an exhibition match benefitting New York’s John McEnroe Tennis Academy, where Rubin previously trained. Likewise, Diego Schwartzman, 22, a Jewish tennis player from Buenos Aires, Argentina, ranked #79 in the world, faced Djokovic in the first round of the Open in Arthur Ashe Stadium. While Djokovic beat Schwartzman 6-1, 6-2, 6-4, he hugged the Argentinian following the match and offered him both a compliment and some advice. “Diego is a talented player; very quick on the court. He has to work on his serve a little bit more,” he said. “I just wish him all the best for the future, you know, to keep on working. He’s talented. He has good potential to be a higher-ranked player.”

For Canadian Sharon Fichman, 23, ranked #112 for singles and #76 for doubles, the road to the U.S. Open was a tough one. After injuring both her ankle and knee in the months leading up to the tournament, she recently underwent surgery to repair a meniscus tear. Still, she managed to play both singles and doubles matches – losing both in the first round. “I will get there.  It will just take time, effort and patience,” she said.

Israel’s Dudi Sela chats with fans after winning his first round match.

Israelis in the main draw for singles include Dudi Sela, Shahar Peer and Julia Glushko. In Sela’s first round match, the 83rd-ranked player battled back to defeat Argentina’s Carlos Berlocq. After losing the first set in 17 minutes, Sela came back to win 1-6, 6-3, 6-2, 7-5. He lost in the second round against seventh seed Grigor Dmitrov of Bulgaria, 6-1, 6-2, 6-2. Sela now turns his attention to the Davis Cup World Group play-offs against Argentina, to take place Sept. 12-14 in Sunrise, Fla. Israel’s Davis Cup team consists of Sela, Amir Weintraub, Andy Ram, Jonathan Erlich and alternates Tal Goldengoren and Bar Botzer. The match was scheduled to be hosted by Israel, but was moved to Florida given the recent situation in Israel.

Shahar Peer, ranked #155, defeated Amanda Konta in the first round, 6-2, 6-3, but lost in the second round to Mirjana Lucic-Baroni of Croatia, #121, 6-7 6-3, 6-2. Julia Glushko, ranked #101, lost her first round match to American Madison Brengle, 6-3, 6-2.

Sportswriter Sandra Harwitt, who has covered more than 70 Grand Slam tennis tournaments for such publications as espn.com, Tennis Magazine and The New York Times, was on hand to sign copies of her new book, The Greatest Jewish Tennis Players of All Time. Harwitt notes the presence of other Jewish players in this year’s U.S. Open, including American Scott Lipsky and Camila Giorgi of Italy.

Among those included in Harwitt’s book – and a spectator at this year’s Open – is British Jewish tennis star Angela Buxton, now 80. In 1956, Buxton reached the Wimbledon singles finals, and won the French Open and Wimbledon doubles championships, teaming up with Althea Gibson, who was the first African American to cross the color line of international tennis. The remarkable story of their partnership is recounted in the recent movie, Althea and Angela: A Perfect Match, and the book, The Match: Althea Gibson & Angela Buxton: How Two Outsiders – One Black, the Other Jewish – Forged a Friendship and Made Sports History.

Finally, tennis fans in search of a kosher hotdog, sausage, knish, pretzel, deli sandwich and the like need search no further than the Open’s Kosher Grill, located near court 17 and open for lunch and dinner every day but Friday night and Saturday.

(Source: http://www.jewishledger.com)

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