Connecticut

The original article is published at JPost.com

After wearing a kippah almost nonstop for decades, I have decided in the wake of October 7 to not walk outside in America wearing a kippah.

As part of my 40-year-plus career as a Jewish camping professional, I have gotten to spend dozens of summers at Ramah camps. There are many pluses – beautiful Shabbatot, having my own children in camp, tennis courts 50 feet from my bunk ,and not having to cook all summer are just a few of the reasons. 

Having to visit my physician each year and explain why I need him to complete and sign my camp medical form isn’t one of them! 

Fortunately, the doctor, a guy around my age, is a good sport and the conversations during the visit are quite pleasant.

My doctor is white and Jewish, while his two partners in their downtown New Haven, Connecticut, practice are Indian and black men. 

Last month, I had my yearly checkup. As I was finishing up my EKG and blood pressure screening with the 30-something black female technician I have known for years, she asked, “Don’t you usually wear a small hat on your head?”

A man wears a black kippah. (credit: Wikimedia Commons)

I paused then quickly realized she was referring to the knitted kippah she usually sees me wear to appointments. 

I said, “You have a good memory. I usually wear a yarmulke on my head. To tell you the truth, these days, I really don’t feel safe. I have been wearing a baseball hat.” (I point to my gray USTA tennis hat). 

I didn’t go into all the details – the arrest of 48 pro-Palestinian protesters at their encampment on the Yale University campus less than a mile from the doctor’s office, the overall rise in antisemitism in America, and so on.

She considers my response and thoughtfully replies, “You are not yourself without it.”

In my pocket and out of sight

She has me put on a hospital gown and she ushers me to the exam room. I carry my shoes, clothes, and my hat in my hand. My kippah remains in my pocket, out of sight.

She weighs me and asks a range of questions about things like depression symptoms. I am not depressed so I deny any symptoms. Sure, she would not be able to truly understand how I and everyone I know have actually been dealing with symptoms of depression and especially anxiety since October 7. 

As she is about to leave the room and invite the doctor in, she smiles warmly and says, “You look good in it. You really should start wearing it again!”

I so appreciated her comments and heartfelt concern. I am sure on some level she truly understands what it means to look different and to stand out. Unlike her, I can take off my kippah and “blend in” to feel safe. For a moment, I am putting myself in her shoes. But for now, she is asking about me.

After wearing a kippah almost nonstop for decades, I have decided in the wake of October 7 to not walk outside in America wearing a kippah. I am also careful not to go outside wearing any of my 50 Ramah hats, jackets, sweatshirts, and vests, which have Hebrew on them. 

This is eating me up. What a relief it was to go back to wearing a kippah full-time during two recent trips to Israel. For now, in America, I only wear a baseball hat and stay away from Hebrew clothing.

We have made other tough decisions. While our Jewish community was giving out “I Stand with Israel” signs to display on the front lawn, we opted not to – out of concern for our safety. This is not to say that local antisemites won’t come down our street looking for mezuzot or Shabbat candles kindled in the window, or lights left on for 25 hours for Shabbat.

I have always been a proud, comfortable Jew in America who never thought twice about displaying Jewish signs – on my home or person. 

These times are different. 

Before last Sunday’s “March for a Free Palestine” on the New Haven Green, the Jewish Federation of Greater New Haven reminded the Jewish community to avoid the area. Gail Slossberg, the CEO of the Jewish Federation wrote, “If you are downtown at that time, please have situational awareness. Do not engage with protesters.”

I was not in the area. And sadly, I am always wearing a baseball hat – with no Hebrew writing. 

The writer is a disabilities inclusion specialist and freelance writer living in New Haven, Connecticut.

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The original article is published at JPost.com

I never asked the late Senator Joe Lieberman directly about his favorite source of information about Israel and the Jewish world – but I am fairly sure he would have said it was The Jerusalem Report. He once took my personal copy of the Report from the prayer book and chumash holder in synagogue –and proceeded to spend the next hour reading it!

When we moved to New Haven, Connecticut in 2003, we joined the local Orthodox synagogue – which does not have assigned High Holy Day seats. To be sure I wasn’t sitting in a member’s coveted seat, I chose a seat two rows from the back, on the right, about seven seats in – right next to the mechitza – a seat sure to be near no one. I sat, put on my tallis, opened my machzor, and prepared for a long day of prayers. I unpacked the two pieces of reading material I had brought along in case of boredom – Jewish Education News and The Jerusalem Report.

To my surprise, a man with a great head of white hair and an even finer smile passes in front of me and sits right next to me. I was a bit star struck as it was obviously Senator Lieberman, the man who was on the ticket with Al Gore three years earlier and was contemplating a bid for the 2004 presidency of the United States of America! Instead of introducing myself or asking the obvious question of who he was, I pointed to my magazines and said, “If you get bored, feel free to help yourself.”

“No thanks, I will read my machzor,” he replied. Ten minutes later, the senator asked, “What have you got?” I showed him his choices, he looked carefully, and chose The Jerusalem Report. I vividly remember the cover – it was an in-depth look at the security fence whose first phase – around three parts of Jerusalem – was approved in March of 2003. Later proposed phases would separate the West Bank from Jerusalem. The senator, who moments earlier seemed intent on focused prayer, was now deep into a series of articles on the multitude of complex issues around the building of the fence.

Ironically, as I watched the senator read my Jerusalem Report, I had been writing fairly regularly for the publication – mainly providing interesting anecdotes from the Jewish World for the Up Front section. This was the “best article I could never write.” I needed to respect his privacy. This was congregant and community member Joe who was here to daven and celebrate the holiday with family and friends.

When the holiday ended, I raced to my computer to share this story with Sharon Ashley, who was at the time the deputy editor. I suggested she and the Report send an anonymous subscription to The Jerusalem Report to Senator Lieberman’s Washington, DC office.

I can only assume that he continued to read every issue cover to cover and that the fair, in-depth coverage of even the most complex issues continued to shape his views – and in turn, US government policy.

The hundreds of tributes following the senator’s sad and untimely death, on March 27 from all parts of the Jewish world – and from both sides of the aisle – captured what a sensible and good man Senator Joe Lieberman was. He was truly liked by all. Despite his ability to get along with everyone, I suspect he usually had to dress and act the part of an elected official.

In our Westville neighborhood of New Haven, Joe Lieberman will be remembered mostly as a member of the Westville Synagogue and a community member. He ate and socialized at the same Kiddush, danced with us at community simchas, and came to morning minyan when he was in town. He drove himself to shul in his car with tinted glass and even wore blue jeans and flannel shirts. He made the same 30-minute walk to shul through our quiet neighborhood each Shabbat and holiday when he was in town – though he was the only community member with Secret Service members walking with him and driving right next to him.

And he got through the boring parts of shul by reading such fine publications as The Jerusalem Report!

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