Jewish World

Original Article Published On The Chabad.ORG

There are some topics people are happy to discuss with their friends and fellow congregants at kiddush after Shabbat services (and unfortunately, at times, even during services). Popular topics include local sports teams, the weather, the stock market, recent developments at local schools and politics. People might share reactions to the rabbi’s sermon, or express concern about a member of the community mentioned during the communal Mi Sheberach, the prayer for healing.

One topic that tends to be off limits is mental illness. We don’t generally discuss mental illness openly, and we often choose not to recite the Mi Sheberach for people dealing with issues of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, schizophrenia and other mental health issues. Some Jewish communities, mental health professionals and clergy members are working hard to change that. Mental illness and substance abuse do exist in all parts of the Jewish community.

In a poignant editorial in the New York Jewish Week, “Telling the Truth about Mental Illness,” Ruth Roth tells the story about dealing with her son’s first suicide attempt.1

He made it through that episode alive and with minimal impairment to his body. Once out of the hospital he appeared to be the same Jonathan he always was: kind, loving, caring, bright, engaging, witty. He begged us not to tell anyone what happened—not that he needed to. Of course we would keep this a secret, for so many reasons. We didn’t want to have our son labeled “crazy”; we didn’t want him to endure any comments or knowing glances from well-meaning people. We were private people who never revealed our innermost issues to anyone outside our family. And we certainly didn’t want our son to feel exposed.

Without realizing it, by keeping this secret, we validated Jonathan’s feeling of shame. Not only would he have to battle his illness, he would bear the burden of shame about it as well. From this point on, our family would have to present an outside face to the world that did not represent our inner reality. We didn’t comprehend the gargantuan weight we would assume with this decision.

Would we have acted the same way had Jonathan been diagnosed with cancer, gastrointestinal illness, severe cardiac illness, or diabetes? Absolutely not—we would never have hidden any of those illnesses. Ask me now and I will tell you that I wish I had shouted it from the rooftop, done anything, taken out an ad in The New York Times: “My son has a devastating mental illness. Can someone, anyone, offer me some advice to save his life?”

Sadly, five months later, Jonathan committed suicide.

Roth continues, “Having lived with the pain of isolation for the previous five months, we decided to be open about Jonathan’s taking his own life. This way, our friends could comfort us appropriately. More important, we would no longer have to bear the burden of living with a lie. It was the right decision for us.”

Dr. Esther Altmann, a New York-based clinical psychologist, says: “Mental illness is known as machalat hanefesh, illness of the soul. It doesn’t reflect our understanding of the brain, but it captures the essence of what it means to struggle with mental illness for the person or the family. It reminds us that psychological suffering happens to each of us at some junctures—just as we experience machalat haguf—illness of the body.”

Altmann shared the following data on mental illness in any given year in the United States:

  • Approximately one in five adults—20 percent—experiences some form of mental illness.
  • Approximately 4 percent experience a serious mental illness that substantially interferes with or limits their functioning in one or more major life activities.
  • 1 percent of adults live with schizophrenia.
  • 2.6 percent of adults live with bipolar disorder.
  • 7 percent of adults have had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.
  • 6 percent of the adult population reported heavy drinking.
  • Suicide is now the leading cause of death for young people ages 15–24.

The numbers and stories are alarming, in the general population and in the Jewish community. Articles in the Jewish press, presentations and conversations at Jewish conferences, programs at synagogues and at communal gatherings are starting to raise awareness and offer hope.

In August 2013, Times of Israel blogger Diane Weber Bederman wrote openly about her mental illness in a revealing piece, “Mental Illness and the Jews”:2

I write about mental illness because I have one. I am a third generation mental-health survivor. I am named for my paternal grandmother, Devorah, and she had depression, as did my father. I was diagnosed in my late 40s with chronic recurrent depression. That means that there are times when everything is “tickety-boo” and others that are very dark. I was diagnosed when I was suicidal.

Stephen Fried, author (with Patrick Kennedy) of the New York Times bestseller, A Common Struggle: A Personal Journey Through the Past and Future of Mental Illness and Addiction, suggests ways to make the issue more central in the Jewish world. Fried wrote a provocative article called, “Jews Must Take Mental Illness Out of the Shadows.” In it, he asks,

What messages do we send to our congregations every day about mental illness and addiction? Do we, for example, believe in prayers for healing diseases of the brain the same way we do for all other diseases? Do we believe in mourning deaths from the tragic outcomes of these illnesses—suicides, overdoses—the same way we do for all other diseases? Do we regularly include these diseases in the “health” and “wellness” that we pray for and wish for others? Do our rabbis and community members offer hospital or home medical visits for these illnesses?

Regarding the Mi Sheberach prayer, Fried suggests, “Imagine the incredible power of hearing a congregation ask, as prayers do, for compassion, for restoration, for strength, for healing of the soul and healing of the body—and knowing that they are talking about you and your illness, too.”

Synagogues can bring these topics into the open by creating opportunities for awareness, discussion and networking. Mental health support networks are an essential way to keep families feeling less isolated and ostracized. Possible supports might include discussions and committees to organize help for those with postpartum depression and anxiety, suicide prevention training, mental health first aid treatment, a briut hanefesh (spiritual health) support group, mental health awareness Shabbatons, sessions for teens on body image and eating disorders, and more.

Dr. Andres Martin, Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University, sees an important role for rabbis and Jewish communal professionals. He stresses that forging alliances with culturally competent and informed providers can be a huge help not only for those in need of support, but also for rabbis and leaders. Martin further suggests, “It behooves rabbis and other community leaders, who are held in such esteem and respect, to become familiar with common mental health issues, challenges and illnesses. Depression, anxiety and substance abuse are very common, and early identification and treatment can be key to long-term recovery.”

There are several initiatives and training programs geared specifically to clergy and those working with teenagers. Most curricula combine clinical knowledge and Jewish texts to help identify and build resources to support the psychological issues that leaders are likely to encounter in communal settings.

Additionally, there are programs working with youth groups to address the topic of mental health in children and teenagers, raising awareness around issues of mental health and working to end the stigma of mental illness.

While the issue of mental health and mental illness is still in the background in much of the Jewish community, there are reasons for hope as the topic comes to the forefront in conferences, community forums and rabbinic training programs. As the Jewish community continues to tackle this complex issue, lives will be enhanced and hopefully even saved.

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Original Article Published On The Jerusalem Post

Relentless Israeli tennis player Anna Pistolesi, nee Smashnova, is racking up the wins, mostly Howard Blas New Haven Just before the U.S. Open in Flushing Meadows in late August, Anna Pistolesi faced the world’s No. 14 player, Vera Zvonereva of Russia, in the second round of the Pilot Pen Tournament in New Haven, Connecticut,

comebacks in the history of women’s tennis.” After being down 0-6, 1- 5 the 27-year-old Israeli won the second set 7-6 and the third 6-2.

No less an authority as Serena Williams has said of Pistolesi, “She’ll probably tire you to death or run you to the point where you just can’t run anymore – then she’ll probably come up with winners in the third set.” But even the toughest and fittest must give somewhere, and Pistolesi lost to Jennifer Capriati in the third round, 6-2, 5-7, 6-1, breaking off a series of 14 victories, which had seen her win home titles in Poland and Finland, and taken her to the no. 21 place in the world ratings. In the U.S. Open, seeded 22, she crashed out in the first round.

Pistolesi is a fairly new name on the women’s pro circuit, but Anna isn’t. Until she married her Italian coach, Claudio Pistolesi, in an Italian civil ceremony in December 2000, she was known as Anna Smashnova and still signs her autographs that way.

Smashnova sounds like a great name for a tennis player, but it was hardly apt in Pistolesi’s case – she hardly ever ventures to the net and is far more well known for her relentlessly steady baseline ground strokes than overhead kills. Said Capriati, after their New Haven match: “She’s like playing a brick wall. She really moves well out there. She fights for every ball, just tries for everything.”

I’d heard that Pistolesi receives death threats at tournaments as an Israeli and therefore only talks about tennis. But speaking with her after her amazing second round recovery in New Haven, she warmed up, sharing her family’s immigration and absorption story with the same comfort as her tennis story.

The modest, 5-foot 2-inch Pistolesi arrived in Israel with her family from Minsk, Belarus, in September 1990 at the age of 14, the number one player in her age group in the Soviet Union. Asked about the move, she says, “We came to Israel because we are Jewish. And yes, it did

help my tennis – there were more opportunities and more chances to succeed in Israel.” Pistolesi credits the authorities for helping her in her acclimation to Israel, as well as her engineer father Sasha, mother Zina and brother Yura. “I was very happy, excited to come to Israel. Everything was new. I went to school and played tennis,” Pistolesi recalls happily. “For me, everything was very organized.”

For her parents, though, “it was very hard, very tough… They didn’t know the language, the people. But Israel really helps immigrants. They took very good care in the beginning.” Pistolesi also feels that her parents, who view themselves as both Russian and Israeli, “have given a lot to the country.”

In 1991, a year after arriving in Israel, Pistolesi won the French Open junior title. In 1994, while still a student at the American International High School in Kfar Shmaryahu, outside Tel Aviv, she turned pro, and was named Tennis Magazine/Rolex Watch Female Rookie of the Year. In 1995 she made it to the fourth round of the French Open. Unlike her professional peers, Pistolesi took a slight detour the next two years, returning home to serve in the Israel Defense Forces. While she doesn’t feel she received preferential treatment as a soldier – she served with a select group of prominent athletes – she suggests that her army duties were less than rigorous. “We worked in the army 4-5 hours a day, but we had all kinds of excuses [to be let off] – practice mornings and evenings, travel, tournaments. I did whatever I could.”

In 2000, Pistolesi attended the Vavassori Tennis Academy in Milan, Italy, where she met Claudio Pistolesi, a former No. 71 player in the world, with a fine reputation as a “tennis technician.” She later began training with Claudio, who now runs the Tennis Academy in Rome.

But Pistolesi hasn’t said goodbye to Israel. “I have been playing for Israel for 12 years in the Federation Cup. Every tournament I play, I represent Israel,” she says, and emphatically denies having any problems or uncomfortable moments on the tour because she is Israeli. “No, actually it is very nice when I come to a tournament to be Israeli and Jewish.”

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