For close followers of Israel, such people, concepts and events as Yonatan Netanyahu, the Law of Return, the Balfour Declaration—even Sbarro and Dolphinarium—are quite well known. For the majority of non Jews and even Jews, however, they are quite foreign.
Today marks the one week anniversary of the release of Gilad Shalit. His release provides Jewish educators with an opportunity to initiate important discussions with our students, their parents, friends and neighbors. Nearly everybody has an opinion about the “fairness” of swapping Shalit for more than 1,000 Palestinians in Israeli jails. And this complex is worth discussing.
Shalit’s release seems to have left many wondering who are the “good guys” and “bad guys.” Who are these people who returned home to a hero’s welcome? How was an Israeli soldier “kidnapped?” Why do Israelis go in to the army in the first place, and for how long? Such questions point to one important fact–many people don’t know basic history—of Judaism, Zionism, of the Arab/Israeli conflict
Helping teach these “basics” is a fitting tribute to Gilad Shalit. And let’s commit to educating a few of our friends—before November 2nd. This date is the 94th anniversary of the Balfour Declaration of 1917–the famous letter from Arthur James Balfour, the British Foreign Secretary, to Baron Rothschild, a leader of the Jewish community. It contains a famous line which is useful in our work with our students:
“His Majesty’s government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country.”
A couple of years ago, I became aware of the sad fact that many Tikvah campers had not celebrated their becoming bar/bat mitzvah. It seemed natural that all children regardless of ability or disability–celebrated b’nai mitzvah. I therefore added the following questions on our Tikvah application; it was my hope that simply seeing these questions would encourage prospective Tikvah applicants to stop and consider that every person becomes bar/bat mitzvah, and every person can celebrate bar/bat mitzvah.
Please describe how you decided to mark your child’s becoming bar/bat mitzvah. (in shul, in Israel, Shabbat vs. non Shabbat, special service?). How did you reach this decision? If your child did not celebrate his/her bar/bat mitzvah, what factors influenced your decision. We have proudly celebrated many Tikvah and inclusion program bar and bat mitzvahs at Camp Ramah, and we have heard moving stories of bar and bat mitzvahs celebrated in various home communities. We will continue encouraging Tikvah families to explore the many possibilities for marking their child’s b’nai mitzvah.
I was delighted to attend the bar mitzvah of Max, a young man with autism, this past Sukkot Sunday. His mother, Helene, is very appreciative that a current Tikvah mother shared the story of the bar mitzvah of her son also a young man with autism. The Tikvah mothers encouragement, her willingness to share her sons bar mitzvah learning program as well as the details of the bar mitzvah service inspired Helene. Helene in turn worked closely and collaboratively with her own synagogue, Town and Village Synagogue, in Manhattan. The rabbi, cantor and community welcomed Max with open arms as they planned a creative bar mitzvah which was appropriate for Max. (I was lucky to be part of the bar mitzvah teaching team!).
When I started teaching Max, it was unclear if he’d even set foot in the synagogue on his bar mitzvah day. As his parents explain in this beautiful, moving video, Max loves “Blues Clues” and is motivated by French fries. Aliyah l’torah and d’var torah were not likely to be part of Max’s bar mitzvah–we did not know at first what a Max bar mitzvah might look like. Max is a young man with autism and limited expressive language.
After several sessions working with Max in his home—singing songs, clapping, reading stories and putting “Blues Clues” on such objects as challah, candle sticks and a kipah, we began taking Max to his synagogue, Town and Village Synagogue in Manhattan, to meet with Cantor Shayna Postman. The synagogue had never celebrated the bar mitzvah of a boy with autism, but they were open to working with Max and his family.
Shayna knew of Max’s love of music and began playing guitar for and with Max. Max enjoyed looking at Shayna’s mouth as she sang—and he had a special pick for strumming on her guitar. Together, they sang the Shema. And played drums for Halelu. Little by little, it seemed Max just might celebrate his bar mitzvah in the shul.
On the Sunday of Chol Ha Moed Sukkot, Max entered the synagogue—with his IPad and headphone. He didn’t agree to wear a tie or jacket, but he did wear nice khaki pants, a white shirt and a kipah. The cantor welcomed the guests, and his parents told Max it was time to put away the Ipad. His family presented Max with a tallis, which he wore proudly. He carried a small torah, shook a lulav and etrog (for his Sunday of Sukkot bar mitzvah), and stood at the torah offering one word answers to the cantor’s question about things he loved (“mommy, daddy, music, French fries, baby sitter Stacy…”).
While Max did not say the Torah blessings, read from the Torah or deliver a d’var torah, Max truly became bar mitzvah that day. The cantor’s love for Max was obvious to the fifty guests in attendance. She bothered to get to know Max and appreciated Max’s abilities while also understanding his limitations.
Cantor Postman delivered a beautiful mi sheberach prayer for Max. My hope and prayer is that more rabbis and cantors will continue to create caring communities where the Max’s of this world will have a Jewish home.
This unique Tel Aviv restaurant is committed to helping kids at risk turn their lives around.
Israeli restaurants are often known for their delicious hummus, mouth-watering kebabs, and colorful Israeli salads. One Tel Aviv restaurant, however, is also known for its unique staff. That’s because every year Liliyot Restaurant and Bakery, in partnership with ELEM, the Israeli organization for youth at risk, trains and employs 15 young adults with some of the most difficult backgrounds and family situations in Israel.
-I used to walk the streets drinking brandy, reveals Mor*. It’s easy to get lost, to disappear from the world.
-At 15, I ran away from home and wandered around Israel with a group of friends, reports Gal*.
-My mother married young to a drug addict. My childhood was spent visiting her in jail.
-I lacked everything. There were long periods when I went hungry; there were days at a time when I wandered the streets and didn’t return home.
Just over ten years ago, Karen Kremmerman, an American-born, Tel Aviv restaurant owner and ELEM volunteer, came up with a novel way to help these teens out of their tragic circumstances. She offered her restaurant, near Tel Aviv’s upscale Sderot Rothschild, to be part of an experimental program which would offer hope, inspiration, and training in the culinary arts to high school drop-outs and other youth in distress. As an ELEM volunteer, she was painfully aware that more than 200,000 youth in Israel between the ages of 12 and 18 experience ongoing difficulties which include alienation, vagrancy, drug and alcohol use, sexual abuse, school problems, and family issues.
ELEM, through more than 40 programs, reaches out to troubled kids of all ages and backgrounds. Those who are fortunate enough to receive training at Liliyot spend up to a year and a half learning to cook, bake, serve, and bartend. A full-time social worker supervises the program participants, and they receive guidance and advice from the chef. They also participate in workshops with guest chefs, hear lectures, and take trips to local produce markets, ice cream factories, and sweets import companies.
Inbar Palmor, an ELEM social worker in the early years of the Liliyot restaurant program observed, This is a unique program because here we have a real restaurant. This is a real-life setting. There is no room for playing around!
Some program participants concede that the process of learning, growing, and changing their lives around is a big challenge. It wasn’t always easy getting out of bed. I was tired after a few hours on the job. It was hard to change my attitude and habits, notes one trainee.
Lily Misgav, social worker and director of the Liliyot project for the past four years, observes that the program participants generally begin their training feeling “full of failures in life their parents are used to hearing only bad news and to feeling disappointed. As a result of their training, Misgav proudly reports, Many feel successful and worthy for the first time in their lives. Their self-confidence increases, and it influences all areas of their lives their parents now believe in them. They now have a profession, money, and independence.
Liliyot’s trainees look back fondly on their experience and speak openly about the positive changes they see in themselves:
-I liked the pleasant atmosphere and the chef was very nice they talk to you politely and respectfully not like in other places!
-This place taught me right from wrong and I can no longer ignore difficult, complicated problems. And the schooling really opened my eyes.
-Here I feel like I am part of a team and that I belong. This place was a home for me!
-It feels like family here. The chef sits with you at eye level and really talks with you.
-I always had responsibility for the kitchen they were relying on us. I’m the only one with a key to the restaurant; I’d open in the morning.
-I had a stable, safe place here!
Revital Halperin, one of the current owners, notes that the trainees receive not just a job with a salary, but a profession for life. Many go on to become cooks, sous chefs, or chefs in restaurants and hotels. Those who don’t are still success stories many enter the army, and most stay out of trouble, stay away from drugs, and they find their way.
A 2008 study of the program’s graduates by Bar Ilan University Professor Aharon York supports Halperin’s observations. York’s study indicates significant improvement in participants circumstances as a result of the training they received at Liliyot. Most of them became independent, useful citizens, and half of them even succeeded in finding placement in the leading restaurants on Israel’s culinary map.
Halperin describes the magic of Liliyot when she notes, There is something in the kitchen even though it is very hot and stressful it is also calming. There is soul, and there is discipline. When you enter the kitchen, you forget all your problems. They get recognized for what they do with their own hands they forget all their problems and concentrate on success.
Perhaps Halperin speaks for the trainees, chefs, social workers, partners, and ELEM when she says enthusiastically, We all love what we do here!
