By Bracha Schwartz | November 27, 2024

You can view the original article here at jewishlink.news


“Children Under the Radar” will examine why it’s important for every child to be noticed.

There are all kinds of students in a class. Some are smart and sharp; they raise their hands right away to answer the teacher’s questions. Others love to make the class laugh, or behave badly to get attention. But what about those who sit quietly, appear to pay attention and don’t raise any red flags? Are they OK?

“Children Under the Radar,” the latest program in the “Inspired by Ilona” series at Congregation Shomrei Torah, will be held on Saturday night, Dec. 14 at 7:30 p.m. It will look at why it’s important for every child to be noticed and the potential consequences when teachers or counselors fail to acknowledge them. The discussion will be moderated by Rabbi Scott Kahn, host of the “Orthodox Conundrum” podcast. Panelists include Rabbi Binyamin Krauss, principal of SAR Academy; Dr. Rayzel Yaish, clinical psychologist at Ma’ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls; and Howard Blas, senior adviser, National Ramah Tikvah Network for the Ramah Camping Movement.

Nancy Bravman, sponsor of the series along with her husband, Larry, in memory of their daughter Ilona, said the overall idea of the series is to bring awareness about children with differences of all kinds. Ilona taught her family, and everyone she knew, about recognizing strengths that aren’t apparent. Due to her disabilities, you had to get to know Ilona to realize her capabilities. “Ilona had amazing self-esteem and confidence because when people looked deeper, they saw how incredible she was,” said Bravman.

After the Bravmans brainstormed about program topics with Shomrei Torah’s Rabbi Andrew Markowitz and Rabbi Kahn, the group hit upon the importance of recognizing children under the radar, the ones who are generally quiet and sometimes ignored because they are not stars or problems. “I was one of those children,” said Nancy Bravman. “I was quiet and felt maybe I wasn’t valued or couldn’t be as successful. And now as a therapist, I see how not being noticed has an effect.”

I asked the panelists to give me some advance thoughts on what they will be speaking about. “The most important thing I can do as the moderator is to start a conversation to raise awareness that this problem exists,” said Rabbi Kahn. “I hope that we’ll get some specific skills that people can take home and use in their own lives as parents, or as teachers.” The consequence of being under the radar might be that a child has an interest or ability that is never encouraged. One example he gave is the story of J.K. Rowling, one of today’s most successful secular authors. “She was a perfectly fine, normal student and she was kind of ignored in school,” he said. “She was an introvert. And only many years later when she was at her economic wits’ end, she found that thing that had been there all along. Wouldn’t it be great if she had found it 10 or 20 years earlier because a great teacher, or some other person who could be an inspiring figure in her life, had pulled it out of her? Sometimes we need those leaders, those people who are inspiring figures in our child’s life, to draw something out. I can look at teachers who saw more in me than I saw in myself.”

Yaish noted that children can behave differently at school and at home. Parents may not realize that their lively, outgoing child is invisible in class. There are also times when the parents are aware of an interest or talent the child has and can bring it to the attention of the school. Yaish said that this week a parent told the school that their daughter is a “hero” in their synagogue because she loves taking care of a kid with disabilities. The parent asked if there was a way for her to have that experience in school. “We’re trying to find space where she can do that,” said Yaish. “She wouldn’t have thought to ask us for it, and we wouldn’t have known that was a strength for her.” The clinical psychologist cautioned that sometimes helping an under-the-radar kid can be harder than it sounds. “It’s ironic but a kid who is under the radar can inadvertently make an adult uncomfortable by not giving the feedback that others do because they’re just kind of quieter. Teachers and principals and camp people have to push themselves to get past this and say, ‘they need my help to do this.”

Camp is another world for children where they can discover new ways to shine, or be unhappy because they can’t find their niche. Blas said that camp can help a kid—who perhaps is not strong academically but has a talent for sports or art—blossom. And if the parent is on top of that, they can even direct a kid to a camp that specializes in that interest. It’s also important for parents to let the camp know when their child has an issue, instead of hiding it and hoping it will resolve itself. “If a parent tells us, ‘These are my kid’s issues,’ like maybe he’s on the autism spectrum and looks like a typical kid but doesn’t read social cues, we say, ‘Great, thank you for telling us.’ We can probably manage this. But some parents think if they mention it, the kid is going to get sent home. It’s exactly the opposite. If you tell us in advance, we can prepare for it and staff better.”

Rabbi Krauss said that the culture at SAR, an open school, facilitates interaction and engagement between the faculty and students. “Even if there are 50 students davening and an adult notices that one of them is unhappy, they can ask the student, without being pushy or prying. It makes a difference to kids that adults actually care about them,” he said. “We have kids for 40 hours a week; that’s a lot of time to get to know them. Nobody wants to be invisible.”

Understanding each person’s strengths is a mandate we get from Tanach. “We’re in the middle of the book of Breishit, which starts with the unique character of each individual in the world and their infinite value,” explained Rabbi Krauss. “If each child and each person in this world has infinite value and is also unique, then if you’re in school, we have to both recognize your infinite value and help you find your unique place and foster that. That’s part of what we hope happens for our kids within the school setting or camp setting or shul setting—whatever social setting you might be in within our community.”

The program, which will be featured on the “Orthodox Conundrum” podcast at a later date, will take place at Congregation Shomrei Torah, 19-10 Morlot Avenue in Fair Lawn and will be livestreamed. For security reasons, pre-register for in-person attendance at www.inspiredbyilona.com to facilitate entry into the building. The livestream link will be available on www.inspiredbyilona.com.

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Adam Berdichevsky at Paralympics ’24 Photo Credit | Keren Isaacson

You can view the original article here at www.melangeandco.com

For most elite wheelchair athletes, the road to the Paralympics involves years of intense physical and mental preparation. For Israeli tennis player Adam Berdichevsky, the year leading up to the recent Paris Paralympics was also a year of fighting off terrorists and multiple relocations. Despite these extraordinary challenges, Berdichevsky proudly represents his country and serves as a role model for people with disabilities on and off the court. His efforts continue to pay off.

Berdichevsky, 40, picked up wheelchair tennis after losing his left leg in a 2007 boating accident in Thailand. Berdichevsky and his then girlfriend (now wife), Hila, encountered a fierce storm.  Their vessel capsized, sending both in to the rough waters.   While saving Hila, Berdichevsky was reportedly sucked in to the engine, resulting in the loss of his leg.

In the years following the ordeal, the two married, Berdichevky became a mechanical engineer, and the family soon included three children. The family made their home on Kibbutz Nir Yitzchak, the same collective community where Adam grew up.  Life on the kibbutz was usually tranquil, though missile threats from Hamas were not uncommon given their proximity to Gaza.   Usually, the sounding of an alarm meant a short stay in the family’s safe room until the imminent threat passed.

A family selfie taken outdoors at sunset with a rocky, desert landscape in the background. The group consists of two adults and three children. The man in the foreground is holding the camera, smiling with the woman next to him leaning close. The three children, standing in front, are smiling happily, with one wearing a cap and another wearing a blue shirt. The sky is a warm, golden hue with the sun setting behind the distant mountains, creating a serene and joyful atmosphere.
Adam Berdichevsky and family

This all changed on October 7, 2023 when Hamas launched 4,300 rockets in to Israel and 6,000 Gazans breached the border into Israel in over 100 locations. On that day, 1,200 people were killed and approximately 250 were taken to Gaza as hostages. Israelis near the border hid and feared for their lives.  

 Adam and Hila Berdichevsky and their three children–ages six, eight, and ten- survived the Hamas invasion at Kibbutz Nir Yitzchak by remaining in a safe room and clutching the door handle for 14 hours to keep it shut.  Once the imminent danger passed, the family then relocated to Eilat (in the south of Israel) for two months.  

Berdichevsky’s friend and fellow Israeli wheelchair tennis player, Guy Sasson, had been living in Houston, Texas with his family at the time as part of his wife’s medical training. Sasson suggested that the Jewish community bring the Berdichevsky family to Houston during these difficult times. “We are so thankful to the Houston Jewish community who provided us with a home, a car and school for the children,” reports Berdichevsky. “We were very welcomed!”  

Two men in athletic gear, both seated in wheelchairs, are posing together outdoors on a paved area. They are both wearing blue shirts and have tennis racquets and sports gear attached to their wheelchairs. The man on the left, wearing a black cap, has a prosthetic leg visible and is smiling while resting one hand on his lap. The man on the right, wearing a white cap, extends his arm to rest a hand on his friend's arm. They appear to be at a sports venue, with metal barriers and a signboard visible in the background. Photo Credit: Credit -Keren Isaacson
Adam Berdichevsky and Guy Sasson | Photo Credit – Keren Isaacson

The family spent six months in Houston before returning to Eilat. Berdichevsky continues traveling around the world to tennis tournaments and the family is currently considering their next move, which may include returning to their adoptive community of Houston.

Berdichevsky shares, “I always loved tennis and also wanted to play a professional sport so the two naturally combined.” But he acknowledges that playing wheelchair tennis in light of recent events has presented some of the biggest mental challenges he has ever faced. “After learning that six hostages, including a former classmate, were murdered in the tunnels by Hamas, I had to compete in my Paralympic match—but it was incredibly difficult.”   

This served to further motivate and inspire Berdichevsky as he played tennis for his beloved Israel in the Paris Paralympics this past September. “I cannot say how much fun it was to represent my country like this,” reports Berdichevsky after his first round wheelchair tennis win in Paris. “The win, it was the first time I played in front of a crowd like this, and it felt like I played at home – it was very special. I was very happy I could give some good times to people amid all the bad days.”  

Earlier that same week, Berdichevsky served as the Israel delegations flag bearer. “The flag bearing was amazing, to walk with the whole Israel team was amazing – and everyone saw me on TV.” Berdichevsky lost his second-round match but he maintains his perspective given the ordeal he and his family survived on October 7th and the fate of so many others in his country. He observes, “It is much more important than ever to represent the country because of what happened and to be a model for all the soldiers who got injured.”  

And his advice to young people with disabilities: “Play a sport, whatever it is. It would make your life much happier.”

An adult with a prosthetic leg and a young child hold hands as they walk together on a rugged, desert-like trail under a clear blue sky. The adult is wearing a white T-shirt, red shorts, and black athletic shoes, while the child is dressed in a gray T-shirt, turquoise shorts, and sandals. They are walking away from the camera, creating a sense of connection and adventure against the natural landscape
Adam Berdichevsky and his son on a hike
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Jacob Sharff, wheelchair mechanic

You can read the original article here at www.melangeandco.com

While the top junior wheelchair singles and doubles tennis players in the world battle it out on court in the US Open Junior Wheelchair Championships in New York, a very attentive man sits in a wheelchair nearby with a large black toolbox on his lap. Jacob Sharff, the wheelchair mechanic and owner of How I Roll Sports: Adaptive Sports Equipment for Adaptive Athletes waits to be summoned by walkie talkie to courts where wheelchair matches are taking place. When he is called, the clock begins ticking. “I have 15 minutes to make a repair or the player has to default.”

Sharff proudly reports that he can fix a flat tire in 4 minutes. “That would give me 11 minutes if something else happens.” Sharff humbly reports, “My biggest worry is that I won’t be able to make the repair.” 

This has happened in past US Opens—when the top men and women players in two divisions—wheelchairs and quads—were also in town for the competition. This year, and every four years when the Paralympics take place, the US Open wheelchairs tournament takes a year off–though the prize money for those who would have participated is shared to help cover costs of travel and lodging.

Scharff laments an incident last year in the adult competition when a man in the quads division’s backrest post “cracked in half.” He reports sadly, “I couldn’t fix it—there were no parts.”

Sharff playfully reports, “I know how a firefighter must feel—we are either a hero or that guy who is always on edge, waiting!”

Sharff, a resident of West Palm Beach, Florida, didn’t set out to become a mechanic at the US Open and other pro and college wheelchair tennis events. When he became paralyzed and a wheelchair user after a car accident in 1999 at age 16, the now 42-year-old Sharff, who competes in paratriathlons around the world representing Team USA, discovered that the only source of sports equipment was medical supply companies. “You had to get your chair in the same place that sold catheters and hospital beds!” He began thinking, “How cool would it be if adaptive sports equipment could be sold in its own place?!” Sharff, who already owned the internet domain name howiroll.com—where he was blogging and sharing photos for what he describes as the “newly injured,” left his 9 to 5 job as a production coordinator at a tea company to start his own company in 2013. He reports, “20 to 25% of our business is international—I have sold to the Middle East, Australia and New Zealand!”

Several years ago, Sharff was approached to work at several university wheelchair tennis events and other USTA (United States Tennis Association) events. The USTA reports that it is “dedicated to providing top-flight programming and developmental opportunities to wheelchair athletes of all ages and backgrounds“ and invest in tournaments and player development.

Sharff can’t wait to be back in New York next year!

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