Original Article is Posted on The Jerusalem Post

Former Yesh Atid MK Aliza Lavie sets out a range of possibilities for today’s bat mitzvah girl.

In the interactive book Iconic Jewish Women: Fifty-Nine Inspiring, Courageous, Revolutionary Role Models for Young Girls (A Perfect Bat Mitzvah Gift), recently translated from Hebrew, former Yesh Atid MK Aliza Lavie sets out a range of possibilities for today’s bat mitzvah girl.

A former senior lecturer at Bar-Ilan University on gender and women’s studies, Lavie explains that “girls have had no specific ritual” to mark the watershed. To that end, she offers a range of creative and meaningful bat mitzvah options.

In the book, Lavie describes the bat mitzvah celebrations of her three daughters, as well as her own experience. Her research had led her to what she believes were the first bat mitzvah ceremonies in Italy a century and a half ago: “Dressed in white and surrounded by their community, the girls would recite the 10 Commandments and read ‘The Song of Deborah’ together before the opening of the ark in the synagogue,” she says.  

Iconic Jewish women throughout history

Each chapter of Iconic Jewish Women offers an opportunity to “meet Jewish women who added something significant to the Jewish people and the world, epitomizing the words of tikkun olam, repairing the world.”

The short bio of each woman is followed by suggested study topics and activities such as a hessed (lovingkindness) for family, community, or society; a location to visit that is connected to the woman in the chapter. The section titled “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone,” Lavie notes, is “a little different or challenging” and may include a writing activity; making a patchwork quilt; or creating a hackathon [a social coding event that brings computer programmers and other interested people together to improve upon or build a new software program].

Sarah Aaronsohn (credit: WIKIPEDIA)

Lavie’s chapters, spanning biblical and Talmudic times to the present, are presented alphabetically – from Sarah Aaronsohn (heroine of the Nili spy network) and Bella Abzug (social activist and member of the US House of Representatives) to Stefa (Stefania) Wilczynska (mother to Jewish orphans during the Holocaust) and Zelda (the poet).

Most chapters are refreshers on some of the most famous women in Jewish history, such as Anne Frank; Glikl of Hameln; Golda Meir; Dona Gracia Mendes Nasi; and Henrietta Szold. Other chapters introduce Jewish women the reader may not have encountered, such as Bracha Habas, the Land of Israel’s first female field reporter; Selma Mayer, aka Schwester Selma, founder of Israel’s first nursing school; and Elynor “Johnnie” Rudnick, trainer of Israel’s first Air Force pilots.

ACKNOWLEDGING THAT it was difficult to limit the candidates to 59, Lavie includes a list of an additional 35 “More Inspiring Jewish Women” at the end of the book, such as religious Israeli marathoner Beatie Bracha Deutsch; psychologist Carol Gilligan; first female rabbi ordained in the US Sally Priesand; and singer Barbra Streisand.

The chapter on US Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg (RBG) encourages girls to learn about the US Supreme Court, compare it to Israel’s Supreme Court, and suggests a visit to a local courthouse.

It notes RBG’s first leadership role as a summer camp counselor and encourages readers to find ways to contribute to their own summer camp or youth movements and/or consider holding the bat mitzvah in that context.

Chapter 8 concludes with quotes on gender equality by Supreme Court justices Miriam Ben-Porat, the first woman in the Supreme Court; and Esther Hayut, the recently retired former chief justice of the Supreme Court. Girls preparing for their bat mitzvah are asked whether RBG would agree or disagree with the quote and are encouraged to write their own legal statement on the topic.

The chapter on biblical matriarch Sarah introduces readers to Yad Sarah, the free lending organization which provides medical equipment to those in need and encourages them to visit or organize a fundraiser. A visit to the Cave of Machpelah (Sarah’s burial place) and Beit Hadassah (visitor’s center) in Hebron is also suggested. According to Lavie, Sarah is credited with “bringing laughter into the world” when she laughed at the news of her upcoming birth to Isaac at an old age. Girls may consider leading a laughter (or yoga laughter) workshop to teach participants relaxing and breathing techniques.

The chapter on Mossad agent Yehudit Nisayho, who was instrumental in the capture of Adolph Eichmann, encourages learning about the Mossad. Bat mitzvah girls can pay tribute to Nisayho’s observant Jewish lifestyle by creating a kosher recipe book in her honor; visit the Israel Intelligence Heritage and Commemoration Center in Glilot; or create an entire bat mitzvah celebration around the theme of codes.

With many suggested sites to visit in Israel, for those living abroad a family bat mitzvah trip could bring even deeper meaning to the occasion.

The history chapter, “The Wide World of Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies: a Journey through Time and around the Globe,” provides information about the first Italian bat mitzvah performed by Rabbi Isaac Pardo on a Sunday near Shavuot 150 years ago. It also includes the blessing recited by the bat mitzvah girls at that ceremony – as well as a prayer for the bat mitzvah girl. Additional chapters at the end of the book provide a more detailed history of the bat mitzvah ritual, as well as a useful time line and glossary. 

LAVIE WROTE her 2002 doctoral dissertation on “Israel Radio and Gender”; has taught gender and mass communication at Bar-Ilan; and is author of several books on women and Judaism. When the former Yesh Atid MK served as chairwoman of the Committee on the Status of Women and Gender Equality, she opened each committee meeting with the description of an important woman in Jewish history: “I asked all the participants to tell us about a woman who impressed them, a role model in their life, an untold story.”

Lavie encourages the adults in the lives of bat mitzvah girls to “work with your bat mitzvah girl not only to tell one story and hold one event but to add to the rich Jewish tapestry of culture, values, study, and community.” 

  • ICONIC JEWISH WOMEN: Fifty-Nine Inspiring, Courageous, Revolutionary Role Models for Young Girls (A Perfect Bat Mitzvah Gift)
  • By Aliza Lavie
  • (English translation) Amazon
  • 478 pages; $18.18
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Original Article Posted on The Jerusalem Post

After war-related cancellation of tournaments and battling on the PR front, blue-and-white players back winning on the court as the Davis Cup nears.

When the war against Hamas started, the outlook for Israeli tennis looked bleak.

A major men’s tournament set to attract top players to Tel Aviv as well as six lower-level professional tournaments were canceled, a high-profile women’s tennis player offered negative comments about Israel, Israel Tennis Education Centers were unable to offer programs to hundreds of children, and Israel’s come-from-behind Davis Cup victory over favored Japan on September 17, just three weeks before the war, seemed a distant memory.

But thanks to the quick action and commitment of the Israeli tennis community, Israeli tennis is up and running, in the Holy Land and around the world, albeit with some caution and modifications.

The indoor hard-court Tel Aviv Watergen Open, scheduled for November 5-11 at the Expo Tel Aviv was abruptly called off due to the war. In a supportive statement, Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) Chairman Andrea Gaudenzi said: “The violence and acts of terror witnessed in Israel are beyond comprehension. We strongly condemn any form of terrorism and mourn the loss of innocent lives across this conflict. We hope and pray for peace in the region.”

Two-time Wimbledon finalist and current world No. 6 women’s tennis player, Ons Jabeur, was less sympathetic.

Tunisian tennis star Ons Jabeur has condemned acts of violence on social media, but also included the hashtag #FreePalestine in her post. (credit: REUTERS)

The 29-year-old Tunisian Muslim wrote on Instagram: “What Palestinians have been going through during the last 75 years is indescribable. What innocent civilians are going through is indescribable; no matter what their religion is, or what their origin is. Violence will never bring peace; I cannot stand with violence but I also cannot stand with people having their lands taken.” She ended her post with the #FreePalestine hashtag.

Israel Tennis Association registers a complaint

The ITA (Israel Tennis Association), via the ITF (International Tennis Federation), approached the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA), the main organizing body of professional women’s tennis to complain about Jabeur’s post. Following a win at the WTA finals in Mexico in November, Jabeur continued to comment on the war.

“It’s very tough seeing children, babies dying every day,” she said. “It’s heartbreaking, so I have decided to donate part of my prize money to help the Palestinians.”

Avi Peretz, ITA chairperson, wrote in an ITA Facebook post: “This tennis player fights, incites and supports a murderous terrorist Nazi organization. We’re glad she’s in the minority…”

ITF President David Haggerty shared heartfelt condolences for the plight of Israel and Israelis.

“We are deeply shocked and saddened by the loss of life. Our hearts go out to all those affected by the violence in Israel in recent days.”

Haggerty also thanked the ITA for the help and quick actions it took regarding the evacuation of the dozens of players, coaches and judges who were present in Israel ahead of international tournaments that were to take place in Israel. He added that the ITF “strongly condemns the violence we have witnessed in Israel. It is our fervent hope that peace and security in the region can be found.”

When the Watergen Tel Aviv Open was relocated to Sofia, Bulgaria, on short notice, Peretz played an important role in the tournament.

“My father is from Bulgaria,” he noted. “This is his hometown, and for me this is a very emotional moment.

“I hope that the situation in Israel will normalize and next year we will be able to invite Stefan Tsvetkov [President of the Bulgarian Tennis Federation] to the tournament with us.”

Tsvetkov offered support for Israel.

“We sympathize with our friends from Israel who at the moment cannot have a normal life and sports calendar. I hope that there will be peace in the region again soon.”

At the Sofia Open, Adriana Mannarino of France defeated Jack Draper of England in the Finals, 7-6, 2-6, 6-3.

Back home, meanwhile, former Israel tennis great, Jonathan (Yoni) Erlich, current director of the high-performance program at ITEC, reports on their countrywide efforts to meet the needs of children in need throughout Israel during these difficult times.

“For the first 10 days, the whole country was in shock and all of the tennis centers were shut down,” Erlich said. “But right away, we were in communication with our kids – through chat, Zoom and WhatsApp. Since there was no school, we gave them videos for homework, and encouraged them to keep active and exercise.”

ITEC has helped over 500,000 children, many of whom live in underserved towns throughout Israel, since opening its first center in 1976. ITEC currently serves nearly 7,000 children weekly throughout 24 Israeli communities.

Erlich recounted ways in which ITEC families and staff have been pitching in during the war.

“When people were evacuated from the south and from the north, families in Tel Aviv, Ramat Hasharon, Jerusalem, Haifa, and other places opened their homes to players and their families. We really used our great and strong organization to take care of all of our kids.”

He noted that within two or three weeks, tennis centers with bomb shelters resumed tennis operations and children were welcomed to play in any open center.

ITEC has also hosted soldiers from Special Forces in their Ramat Hasharon center for what Erlich described as a day of “fun, tennis, lessons and lectures about motivation” by himself and his former longtime doubles partner, Andy Ram.

Erlich, who is also captain of Israel’s Davis Cup team, recently learned that his team will be playing its next round versus the Czech Republic in the Czech Republic in February.

Israel is one of 24 teams to play in the Davis Cup qualifiers on the road to the World Cup.

“It is huge! I feel very fortunate to lead the team and still be connected with the Davis Cup after 23 years.”

There have been some posts on social media calling on the ITF (International Tennis Federation) to not allow Israel to participate in the Davis Cup. They note the ban on Russian players in the wake of the Ukraine conflict, who have not been allowed to participate in team events in tennis since March 1, 2022.

Erlich is unfamiliar with such posts and looks forward to his work with the current team (he has not named the team members yet). He is also excited about the “next generation” he hopes will emerge in the next few years.

In the meantime, several potential Israeli Davis Cup team players continue to represent their country in tournaments around the world.

Yshai Oliel, No. 434 in the world, recently advanced to the quarterfinals and semifinals of several tournaments in Greece. Daniel Cukierman, No. 481, played several tournaments in Italy, advancing to the quarterfinals in Ortisei, Italy.

Erlich is looking forward to the very important upcoming Davis Cup tie.

“Now it is more urgent to do something great and show joy. We will go proudly to the tournament. If we usually give 100%, this year we will give 200%!”

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Original Article Posted On The Jerusalem Post

The Bentows no longer live in Denmark, but living in Israel, they have many reminders of their former country.

For the Bentows of Denmark, making aliyah represents something unique for each of the five family members. For mother Metti, it is a chance for the former El Al flight attendant to make aliyah for the second time in 25 years. For father Matisyahu, a former El Al security agent and observant Jew by Choice for decades, it is an opportunity to practice Judaism comfortably and in a supportive community. For two children, it means serving in the IDF. For the youngest son, it is a chance to integrate into Israeli society through attending school with peers. For the whole family, aliyah is a logical next step in their love for and commitment to Israel. It is also a practical response to the antisemitism experienced on many occasions in their native Denmark. 

Metti first made aliyah at age 18, lived in Israel for five years, and worked for El Al. “They sent me back to Denmark for one or two years – that was the plan,” she smiles. She adds, “I met my husband, we had three kids, and returned to Israel 25 years later.”

Matisyahu, known at the time as Claus, was studying Hebrew at university. He was inspired by a female friend at the university (who worked in security for El Al) to consider working for El Al security. “They were in doubt about my Jewishness, even though I was in the process of conversion from age 22,” he says. He spent time in Israel working on a kibbutz but found the Rabbinate to not be very supportive of his conversion.

“We met at El Al and realized it would be the two of us,” reports Metti. Matisyahu converted, the two married and had two children in just over two years. “We discussed aliyah many times over the years,” Metti adds, noting that they spent the first 15 years of marriage “exploring our level of Yiddishkeit.” The two agreed that raising the children “Jewish and as proud Zionists” was important. “From the moment they first breathed, we sang Shema and ‘Hatikvah,’” Metti notes proudly.

The Bentow family lived in Copenhagen in close proximity to the Great Synagogue and the Chabad House. They joke that they lived near the Rabbi Triangle, an area of town close to the homes of three rabbis. The children attended Jewish day school and kindergarten, frequently visited Israel, and spent a lot of time discussing and debating Israel and other Jewish topics around the table.

The flag of Denmark (credit: REUTERS)

While the family discussed aliyah from time to time, daughter Hannah, even as a preteen, was clear in her plans to move to Israel. “She told us that the moment she can, ‘I will move to Israel and join the IDF. I will never live in Denmark!’” 

This prophetic pronouncement came before the tragic, life-altering day of February 15, 2015, when she was celebrating her bat mitzvah.

A Denmark bat mitzvah tragedy: Violent antisemitism

During Hannah’s bat mitzvah, which had been postponed and rescheduled due to her maternal grandmother’s death, a terrible community tragedy took place. Dan Uzan, 37, a beloved Danish Jewish security guard, was shot and killed outside the synagogue by a terrorist. Two Danish Security and Intelligence Service police officers were also wounded in the attack. “I think I understood it was something that would change our lives forever,” recounts Metti, teary-eyed. The attack and a series of additional antisemitic events in Denmark were transformative for the family.

Metti recounts that nine months after the attack at the synagogue, a 15-year-old Danish girl, who had become radicalized by a Muslim friend, was arrested for a plot to bomb a school. “Maybe it is time to take off Jewish symbols,” Metti thought. Hannah and Jacob told their mother, “It is never going to happen.”

Within a short period, Jacob, who usually tucked in his Jewish star when walking late at night in Denmark, was attacked and beaten up. One month later, Hannah’s Israel necklace was torn from her neck, and she experienced antisemitic taunts (including seeing swastikas and hearing chants of “Free Palestine”) at school. 

When the Halle Synagogue in Germany experienced a shooting on Yom Kippur on October 9, 2019, Metti was deeply worried and said, “That’s it. We can’t stay here! I feel pushed out.” She notes that the idea of leaving Denmark, their home, was not joyous.

Jacob, who had recently completed a carpentry apprenticeship, started considering serving in the IDF. He even considered the possibility of serving with Hannah but realized it would be difficult with his family being so far away. As the family was exploring options, Metti was pleased to learn that Heidrick & Struggles, the executive search and management consulting company headquartered in Chicago, which she had been working with for eight years, was opening an office in Tel Aviv. “‘This is your chance,’ my boss said.” She then broke the news to her children, who were delighted.

As the Bentows approach the second anniversary of their aliyah, they are honest about the successes and the challenges. “It is important to not do it for one reason only – you need a multitude of reasons to make aliyah, as there will be hard days,” says Metti. While Metti moved to Israel and continued working for the American company as executive assistant and office manager, Matisyahu has had a more difficult time finding employment. Despite having a bachelor’s and a master’s degrees and experience in the mental health field, degrees and certifications are different in Israel; he is currently working as a security guard, as well as a caregiver to the elderly.

The Bentows came to Israel to return to the place that Metti had come to years earlier, to get away from European antisemitism, to offer their children the chance to contribute to their new country through service in the IDF, and for a better religious life. Matisyahu is happy that he and his family can “live life fully as Jews in a strong community.” He also notes that he can’t go back to Denmark now, as “pro-Palestinian forces have taken over public discourse, they tear down posters of hostages, and threaten Holocaust survivors.”

Metti describes their time in Israel as “an adventure” and encourages olim to adapt that approach. The Bentows are pleased with the extraordinary health care in Israel. They encourage olim to come with good Hebrew language skills and financial security and/or a decent-paying job. “You won’t make Danish wages. You will want to come with a job if you can and get out of the minimum wage trap!” advises Matisyahu. “Don’t come for material reasons.”

While the Bentows did not come for materials reasons, they admit it is wonderful to be able to go to a supermarket and “eat meat daily without it costing half of your salary.” That was not the case in Denmark.

The Bentows no longer live in Denmark, but they have many reminders of their former country. There is a community of Danish Jews in Ra’anana, and they regularly remember Dan Uzan, the beloved security guard from their old shul. There is a KKL Forest (Casuarina Circle) in Israel named in his memory, and the Bentows remain closely connected to the Uzan family.

When Jacob, 22, completed eight months of intensive training in the IDF’s Nahal Brigade in July, he received a special gift: Mordechai Uzan, the father of Dan Uzan, came to his tekes kumta (beret ceremony) and presented Jacob with his own army beret.

The Bentows will always be connected to their former home of Denmark and their beloved current home of Israel. ■

The Bentow Family From Denmark to Ra’anana, 2021

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Original Article is Posted at Jerusalem Post

The Jerusalem residents, who made aliyah in February, started making a dent in Cincinnati, Ohio. Now they’re trying to do the same in Israel.

When Nellie Neeman-Bochner and Glenn Bochner started dating, they already discussed how they would “make a dent” if they ended up getting married. 

The Jerusalem residents, who made aliyah in February, started doing so together in Cincinnati, Ohio, where they hosted a very welcoming minyan in their home for ten years, which Glenn reports “brought Clal Yisrael together.” 

The couple has increased the ways they are making a dent in Israel and the world since coming on aliyah nine months ago. And they couldn’t be happier – even as Israel faces the toughest times since Nellie’s father fought and was wounded in the 1948 War of Independence. 

Nellie has wanted to realize her dream of aliyah since spending her post-high school gap year in Israel. Her parents were not so crazy about the idea. “I’ve been yearning to come back ever since,” she says. 

“From the start, I was open to it,” she recalls. “We [Glenn and I] were clear that it was our life goal and said we would come in five to eight years. We let the minyan know that we were on track to make aliyah in five years. Baruch Hashem, we did.”

Baka neighborhood in Jerusalem (credit: MARC ISRAEL SELLEM/THE JERUSALEM POST)

The couple was very thoughtful and intentional in their planning. They knew they wanted to live in Jerusalem and spent between two weeks to five months staying in various apartments to get a sense of certain neighborhoods. “We tried different neighborhoods – Sha’arei Hessed, Talpiot, and we are now in Mekor Haim. We are moving to Baka next week,” Glenn notes. “We hope it will be our last,” Nellie offers. 

Both agree that each neighborhood has been great and it is difficult to choose, noting that it is an honor and a privilege to be in the holiest city in the world.

Making a dent in Israel

THE BOCHNERS started making their own dent during those visits to the country. Glenn describes their love of “hiking, exploring nature, and driving around the country.” On one trip near the Dead Sea, they were walking in a pine grove and discovered “an unbelievable amount of garbage in piles – like a garbage dump.” They began bagging the garbage and have returned four or five times together and with friends to continue the clean-up operation.

Their trips around the country have an additional benefit for Nellie’s work. The Manhattan-born speech and language therapist, turned thriller and romance writer, and Anglo writers’ group leader (Facebook group, Booklovers of Israel) is the author of the Jon Steadman thriller series. She is working on her fifth thriller, Immortal, which follows Spree, Resurrection, Vengeance, and Duplicity. Nellie’s website, nellieneeman.com, provides more information on her thriller books.

Her books often feature Israel as a backdrop, and one of the main characters, Dr. Terry Lavi, is a geneticist at the Technion-Israel Institute of Technology. “I also have a hidden agenda – it is very important for me to show Israel and Jewish people in a positive light through stories. I hope I am succeeding,” she says. 

Nellie published her fourth romantic comedy, Soaring Hearts, which she wrote under the pen name Ellie Hartwood as she does for her Clean Romance books. In addition, she has published eight novellas.

In her spare time, she works with Glenn as a shadchanit through the SawYouAtSinai matchmaking site. “I have been making shidduchim since I was a kid! The first match I made have been married for 34 years.” She praises Glenn for being “good at mentoring singles and speaking about challenges. We are a good team.” While technically, payment is expected by Jewish law, she notes, “We do it for the mitzvah.”

The Bochners regularly open their homes to various cohorts of singles for Shabbat meals. “We pick a target [age group] – 20s to 60s – and invite numerous people who we think will go well together.” Glenn generally poses a question and facilitates a structured conversation. “We try to keep it relaxed,” he notes.

Glenn, who grew up in Albany, New York, and attended the Georgia Institute of Technology, is a mechanical engineer by training and recently retired after 38 years at Procter & Gamble as an engineering manager and “in-house entrepreneur.” He initially thought it might be possible to continue his Procter & Gamble work full time from Israel, but then realized it was not feasible.

“We both realized that being here and living with these holy people is our priority,” he explains. He is currently developing other businesses.

Glenn often explains to friends that he couldn’t be happier with what he describes as the “rhythm of the day,” which “starts with holiness and purposefulness.” He elaborates, “I go to a beautiful minyan, then daf yomi, have some time with my wife, then by mid-afternoon, after I catch up and relax, I work.” 

He feels fortunate to have made aliyah when he did. The current situation has provided numerous volunteer opportunities. “There is an unbelievable level of volunteerism. People are tripping over each other to help out and say thank you.” He recently has been involved with Grilling for the IDF, which regularly serves barbecue dinners to soldiers. 

In addition, the Bochners joined a small group of volunteers who are managing Am Echad b’Lev Echad – One Nation, One Heart, an organization focused on “celebrating our commonalities and ways to love each other.” The couple says that donations to the organization help secure dri-fit shirts, which contain the inspiring message of pride and unity, for soldiers to wear under their uniforms and provide an opportunity “to unite the Jewish people behind our soldiers.” 

The Bochners feel fortunate that their aliyah has gone smoothly. Nellie is fluent in Hebrew, and Glenn continues to make progress and plans to take ulpan soon. “We anticipated the bureaucracy and we have been here many times, so we had a sense of what to anticipate. There have been no major surprises,” he says.

The biggest challenge? Being far away from their three children – aged 25 to 31, who live in Los Angeles, Chicago, and Boston – and from Nellie’s mother. They hope their children will come one day, noting that some are very Zionistic and are actively discussing aliyah.

The Bochners’ aliyah and the potential aliyah of their children are a tremendous tribute to Nellie’s father, who came from Romania and fought for Israel’s independence 75 years ago. They hope their story of Aliyah will help inspire others to make the leap as well.■

NELLIE NEEMAN-BOCHNER, 57, AND GLENN BOCHNER, 61 FROM CINCINNATI TO JERUSALEM, FEBRUARY 2023

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