Sitting shiva in the age of Covid-19 has left many mourners feeling cut off and feeling alone in their time of need—the exact opposite of what shiva is supposed to provide.  The unfortunate reality is that—with few exceptions (socially distanced outdoor minyans and comforting, for example), mourners have been left to mourn without the benefit of in-person loving and supportive communities.  

For many, Zoom has offered some comfort. Some Zoom shivas offer a chance for people to “drop by” during specified hours, to offer comfort to mourners; other zoom shivas provide some structure, akin to a memorial service.

When a beloved, long-time member of the Camp Ramah in New England Tikvah community experienced the loss of her father recently, I wasn’t sure how the community would be able to respond and offer support.  What I saw was a truly beautiful outpouring of love and comfort. 

Tiki’s father, David, died two weeks ago.  While he did not die from Covid, he was in the hospital for quite a while.  Due to health and safety concerns, his family was not able to visit.  This made the past few months leading up to his death especially sad.

Tiki and her family really could use support and comfort during these difficult times.  But just how could the camp community offer that support?  Tikvah director Bonnie Schwartz worked with Tiki’s family to plan a meaningful, structured Zoom shiva.

The Tikvah community has known Tiki for so many years.   Tiki knows everybody and everybody knows Tiki. Tiki forms strong relationships with people and makes a strong effort to keep those relationships alive on Facebook and in person.  As Tiki shared during the Zoom shiva, she even had her bat mitzvah at camp!  She recounted how her father somehow managed to locate a kosher bakery between New York and camp and ordered more than 200 kosher rugelach!

After Bonnie welcome and thanked everyone for coming, she explained the format of the evening.  Tiki, her mom and sister had provided several family photos, which would be shared on the screen.  Tiki and her family would explain where the photos were taken—camp, family vacation, etc.—and the visitors could ask questions as they strived to learn more about her late father.

Bonnie then asked some questions which had been discussed with the family before the Zoom shiva—father’s favorite food, color, sports team, movie, music (Naomi Shemer!  He was born in Israel!).  They learned how Tiki’s parents met, how he loved reading books about Israel and Judaism, how he loved the Israeli salads his wife made. 

What amazed me and warmed my heart is not only that 38 people logged in—and some screens had 2 or 3 people; but that so many of Tiki’s peers from Tikvah—most without parents—just showed up!  Several participants were nonverbal or minimally verbal.  Tiki felt their love and support—even without words.   In addition to friends from the camping and vocational training program were peer buddies, counselors, staff members and administrators- dating back to Tiki’s earliest years in camp. 

I think the biggest lesson learned from the Zoom shiva is the importance of showing up.   It is so clear that people with various disabilities are very capable of showing love and empathy.  Another lesson is that structuring the shiva helped a lot. 

 

Bonnie received many texts and emails afterwards from folks who reported that it was beautiful and that they felt inspired and touched— that it really showcased the power of our community and camp.

And Tiki herself shared with me today: “It made me feel better.  My friends are supportive and they love me.”  It was a true pleasure to see Tiki with her camp friends and with new friends—from Australia—on a different Zoom one day later—enjoying an International Dance Party.  

May Tiki and her family continue to experience the love and support of her Camp Ramah community during this difficult time.

Read more

It is 8 pm Thursday in Boston, New York and Florida.  It is 7 pm in Chicago and Minneapolis.  It is 5 pm in Los Angeles.  And it is….10 am in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane, Australia!  Welcome to the first Flying Foxes and Tikvah Ramah Dance Party—with tunes, lighting, and special surprises like the Flying TIkvah Game Show!  How fun to bring participants from two large disabilities programs—for a night/afternoon/morning of fun.  96 people had a blast—and we are already planning our next activity.

I was contacted a few years ago by Flying Foxes CEO Dean Cohen. We met in New York—and in Melbourne—to learn about the Tikvah Programs at Camp Ramah, and about the Flying Foxes socialization and camp programs for people with disabilities across Australia.  I have subsequently had numerous in person and Zoom meetings with such amazing members of the team as Tayla, Ricki, Bianca and other.  Now it was time to try out their “crazy” idea—an international dance party!    It worked!

Some Tikvah participants on the east coast were winding down, while some in Australia woke up the next morning and already had their porridge!  DJ Ben played tunes and our worlds were expanded.  Zach from Ramah New England gave a great overview of American overnight 4 and 8 week camping—since the Australians only go to camp for a few days at a time. 

The fun trivia game tested knowledge of each other’s faraway countries. No, Australians don’t have kangaroos as pets.  Yes, Donald Trump is US president.  No, New Zealand and Australia are not attached.  Vegemite?!  Not so well known in America.   And preferences for dogs vs. cats do not break down by country!    

Check out the happy faces of 96 participants, staff members, Tikvah directors, and lead staff of Flying Foxes. It may be 16,662 km and 10,353 miles from Melbourne to New York, and Melbourne may be 14 hours ahead of New York time—but for one wonderful hour, our worlds were one!  



Read more

Original Article Published On The Jerusalem Post

Also read it in Spanish On Enlance Judio

Until her death Monday at age 85, Buxton was still waiting for her August 1958 application for membership in the All-England Lawn Tennis Club to be approved.

Sandra Harwitt – my seatmate on the free bus which takes US Open credentialed media, umpires, coaches and players from Manhattan to the US Tennis Center in Queens – playfully asked if I recognized the 80-year-old woman in front of us.

Harwitt, a tennis writer and author of The Greatest Jewish Tennis Players of All Time, clearly did. It was Angela Buxton, the feisty 1956 Wimbledon women’s doubles championship from England, best known for befriending and teaming up with African-American Althea Gibson.

Why would a Liverpool-born Jewish woman, who spent World War II in South Africa, and spent significant time in the US, India, and Israel, break the color barrier in tennis? Quite simply, Buxton saw herself and Gibson as outsiders.
Until her death Monday at age 85, Buxton was still waiting for her August 1958 application for membership in the All-England Lawn Tennis Club to be approved.
“I think the reason is quite clear,” the feisty, straight-talking Buxton told me in her English accent in a 90-minute interview in the media dining room at the 2014 US Open.

“I can only assume it is because I am a Jew.”

Buxton always spoke candidly. She was delighted that I write about tennis for Israeli and other topics for Israeli publications. We became friends and stayed in contact over the years. Buxton would call, send her tennis articles—or a DVD of the movie, Althea and Angela: A Perfect Match, and she insisted I read the book, The Match: Althea Gibson & Angela Buxton: How Two Outsiders – One Black, the Other Jewish – Forged a Friendship and Made Sports History. I last saw Buxton at the 2019 US Open – this time in a wheelchair – at the dedication of the Althea Gibson statu

Buxton experienced racism for the first time as an 8-year-old in South Africa, when friends and neighbors disapproved of a friendship with a black girl her age. Buxton’s first encounter with antisemitism also occurred in South Africa when a man remarked, “You Jews are all the same. You think you own the world!”

As a teenager she applied to join the Cumberland Club, the top tennis facility in North London. Coach Bill Blake reportedly rejected Buxton, saying “You’re perfectly good, but you’re Jewish. We don’t take Jews here.”
Instead, she practiced on the private tennis court of Simon Marks, the Jewish owner of the department store Marks & Spencer.
As a pro, Buxton’s first encounter with antisemitism in the tennis world occurred at the Los Angeles Tennis Club in 1952. She was denied membership because she was Jewish.

Buxton’s first encounter with antisemitism in the tennis world occurred at the Los Angeles Tennis Club in 1952. She was denied membership because she was Jewish.

In 1953, Buxton had a very positive Jewish experience. She traveled to the Maccabiah Games from England to Israel – by boat, on a ship called “Artza,” – with 100 Jewish fellow athletes.

In 1956, Buxton asked Gibson to be her doubles partner at the French Championships and Wimbledon. After the pair won Wimbledon, a British newspaper headlined a report, “Minorities Win.” Buxton injured her wrist at an August 1956 tennis tournament in New Jersey and her tennis career soon came to an end.

Buxton’s colorful post tennis-playing life included teaching and coaching tennis, starting the Buxton Tennis Center in North London, sports writing and volunteering with her three children – then-ages 6, 4, and 18 months – on Kibbutz Amiad during the Six Day War.

Buxton returned to Israel many times over the years and helped found Israel Tennis Centers.

Buxton was inducted into the Black Tennis Hall of Fame in 2015 for her relationship with Gibson and the International Jewish Sports Hall in Israel in 1981.

I will miss seeing Angela schlepping her big “wheely” suitcase through the grounds of the US Open, and her calling me at random times to share a story or article. The world has lost a legend – one with a real Jewish soul!

Read more

Every August, I gear up for my favorite event of the year—the US Open.  For the past 15 years, I have had the privilege of spending three weeks at the US Open—from the qualifying tournament through the finals. I have been a member of the media, covering the tournament for various Israeli publications.  This year is different.

In the era of Covid, being a credentialed US Open media member means being “in the loop” for all tournament communications—leading up to the tournament, and during the tournament.  My fellow journalists and I will be writing about tennis—from wherever we happen to be.  We will be given all the match coverage and important information we need.

This week, most communications have started “X withdraws from the US Open.  Y moves in to the main draw.”  Yesterday, for example: 

 Simona Halep (ROU) has withdrawn from the US Open.

 Irina Khromacheva (RUS) moves into the Main Draw.

 Usue Arconada (USA) is now the first player out.

And today: 

Yen Hsun Lu (TPE) has withdrawn from the US Open.

 Federico Gaio (ITA) moves into the main draw.

But these communications don’t capture the excitement and positive feel—and sense that this month of tennis planned for New York just might work!

There was a media conference call today on Health and Safety Protocols–for both the 2020 Western & Southern Open (to be held in NYC) and the US Open.  It was SO reassuring.  Three very informed, thoughtful, articulate, and caring individuals helped reassure members of the media that there is so much good news and so much to look forward to with these two tournaments about to start.  Michael Dowse, CEO and Executive Director of the USTA; Stacey Allaster, USTA Chief Executive of Professional Tennis and US Open Tournament Director; and Dr. Bernard Camins, Medical Director for Infection Prevention for the Mt. Sinai Health Systems, and Member of the USTA Medical Advisory Group were rock stars.  While none of the members of the media on the call will be physically present at this year’s tournament, we are in a great position to be ambassadors, and to be positive.

Some things which caught my attention:

– Despite some of the challenges we have faced, in the women's draws we have 10 former Grand Slam champions, seven former No. 1s, and 81 of the top 100 players competing.

-On the men's side, we have seven of the top-10 players playing, eight former Grand Slam finalists, and 90 of the top 100 players.

-As of this morning, almost 350 players have entered this centralized Western & Southern and US Open

environment. We will all remain in our environment for as long as we are competing and they are competing for that prestigious ATP Masters Series title, WTA Premier title andGrand Slam title.

-The athletes have everything they need. They have comfortable housing, medical testing, transportation, practice facilities, trainers, physios, a variety of food services, and a number

of experiences for their off-time both on-site and in the official hotels. As we've seen the players come in, the energy has been really positive. They're excited to be back. They're happy to see each other. We've been thanked quite a bit by players for putting on these events. I think I would say there's a strong sense of community that we are all in this together for our sport and for our fans.

– The fundamentals of the plan are a multi-tiered system.  Ultimately that's limiting the amount of interaction, the different roles and responsibilities.

There are three tiers:

Tier one, that includes all the players, their guests, tournament off staff, officials and the medical teams,

approximately about a thousand people in the tier one group.

The tier two group includes broadcasters, people who may interact but have very, very, very little interaction and exposure.

Lastly, the third tier, includes staff, whether it be security, parking, vendors. Again, their limited interactions are even less.

-“ Together with ESPN and our international broadcasters, millions of fans in more than 200 countries will have the opportunity to be inspired by what I believe are the most amazing athletes to compete in sport at the highest of levels.”

– MIKE DOWSE concluded by saying: “As I said in my opening statement, we have 100% confidence we're doing this properly. Again, it was not a host at all costs. We were very disciplined in our approach. Again, that was health and well-being number one. Number two, in the best interests of tennis. Three,

does it financially make sense for the players, the USTA and the broader tennis ecosystem. The thing I'm most excited about is the energy, as I shared earlier, from the players as they've come in and the

broader tennis community. People are starved to see these great athletes competing in these two big

tournaments. I'm really optimistic that we're going to look back at this in a few months and really be proud of what everyone accomplished, what this has done for our sport of tennis.”

One super fun fact which caught my attention:   Recent reports from the tennis industry are showing the sales of entry level tennis racquets and the purchase of tennis balls have nearly doubled in May, June and July.  Players from all backgrounds are discovering that tennis is the perfect post-pandemic sport. It's safe, social, great exercise, and most importantly tennis is fun.

With gyms still closed in many parts of the country, outdoor tennis (along with biking) have become great ways to get exercise and fresh air, while still socializing, safely.  Hats off to the public courts which have welcomed me and various partners 3 times a week!

Let’s keep the tennis going—safely!

Read more